


The Devil May Cry At The End Of The Night

by Thestorans



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Niall, Boxer!Liam, Boxer!Zayn, Dancer!Niall, Depression, Eating Disorder, Eleanor might be in it idk yet, Family Problems, Fluff, I also really like the weeknd, Innocent Niall, M/M, Sad Harry, Sad Niall, Smut, Top Harry, Violence, boxer!harry, complicated relationship, helper!louis, lying, so every chapter title is a lyric from one of his songs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-03-05 07:03:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3110498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thestorans/pseuds/Thestorans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It seems like pain and regret are your best friends, because everything you do leads to them.</p><p> </p><p>(au where Harry loves pain but might love Niall more)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm The Drug In Your Veins, Just Fight Through The Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Book Title is Devil May Cry by The Weeknd and the summary is Lonely Star also by The Weeknd. Also, the name of this chapter is ALSO a The Weeknd song, which is What You Need. Hope you enjoy.

"Please welcome, Harry Edward Styles!" The ref blares, the crowd roaring as a tall, buff, curly headed man hoists himself onto the ring, hair pushed back into a ponytail and brows knotted together as he chewed on his mouth-guard, hands bundled in boxing gloves. He moved his head side to side, neck cracking sending a shiver down his naked spine, his shoulders rolled back, loosening his tense muscles, the cross on his necklace pinched between his lips, his eyes closing for just a second before reopening them and releasing the silver cross, letting it dangle back down between his pecks. The crowd cheered, fists pumping into the air, loud hollers and mixed shouts all focused on him.

He jumped from side to side, the sweat was already beating at his forehead from nervousness, his green eyes wide and shifting from the crowd to the doorways that would reveal his match. He chewed harder at the chewy guard around his teeth, spitting it in and out of his mouth, slurping it back in when the ref's alerting voice echoed throughout the hot and tense room.

"The next opponent is weighing at 170 lbs, please give a loud and proud welcome to SnakeHead!" The ref rumbled and flew his hand out to the other side of the ring, a man that was a little buffer but shorter then Harry came bursting through the large steal doors, flinging himself into the ring, past the spongy wires that acted as a barrier to them both. The man acted like a lunatic, barring his teeth at the crowd in a hiss, banging his gloves together, then moving them to bump repeatedly against his pecks like a wild ape.

Harry couldn't help but chuckle, a deep rumble coming from his chiseled belly as he stared at the man who tried to act scary as he stood on the wires, hands up in the air as the crowd praised him. Harry wasn't into the name calling, he just went with his actual name, simple, but it stood out based on the ignorantly chosen names like this fellow, he thought it was stupid to have such names like that, the boxer's answers to why they picked such interesting vocabulary were because it made them _'more manly sounding'_ when they came into the fighting match, which, based on Harry's reaction, was not much of an intimidation. 

"What ya' laughing at boo? I like your hair, where's the bow? A little too girly for a boxing match eh?" SnakeHead teased, hopping around Harry, but Harry's face was stern and blank, his many years of training taught him not to react to such words spat at him. He just focuses on the fact that the silly man had to look up at him to say those words, Harry just wanted to take his gloves and pound him into the floor like a mole.

"Get in your places!" The ref ordered, the crowd cheering louder as Harry and his opponent shuffled around at either side of the rings. The mix of the riled up crowd and his beating heart was like a tornado in the back of Harry's mind, his left eye twitching as he shifted his fingers inside the boxing gloves.

"Come on Harry!" Gemma screeched from the corner of the ring, holding his water bottle and towel, her hair was also jumbled up into a ponytail, her anxious green eyes locking with his for a second. Harry just gave her a quick nod, moving his gloves up to his face, his feet in a more stable stance as he waited for the bell to ring, the sound that would set him off as quick as a tiger pouncing at its prey, he would say snake, but it seemed little man across from him already got that title.

SnakeHead was growling, letting out girly noises, pretending to flip his hair back over his shoulder, puckering his lips and letting out annoyingly loud kissing noises towards him. The people on his side of the ring letting out loud horse laughs at his teasing, obviously starting to lose interest in him and vote for the little rat.

Harry just smirked and shook his head, straining his ears for only the big red bell above the ring, not for the children in front of him, his mind was only on the game, his eyes were only on his target, and his ears were only for the bell.

It was only a second after he said that when the bell rung, the loud and lasting _'briiiiiiing!'_ was like a switch turning on, his biceps flexing and face going slack, he immediately flung forward SnakeHead doing the same but was only a second behind him, Harry's fist crunching into the side of his head, making him stumble back, blood slowly seeping from a small cut on his lip.

A jolt in Harry's heart from the blow gave him even more will-power. He moved forward again, not wasting any time as he did an uppercut to the jock-boxer's stomach, making him double over in pain, and in a flash, he was on top of him, hands coming in to lock against his neck, pinning the ignorant and unprofessional psycho to the floor

Three hard pounds against the ring's floor from the ref, Harry was immediately off the man, the ref's hand clasping against his wrist, tugging his hand upwards into the air. The sound of the crowd was just a blur for that few seconds, and now, as he stood amongst the crowd, it came in like a wave of screams.

"And the winner is, Harry Styles!" The ref shouted into the crowd, the hundreds of people below gawking at him. Gemma was screaming in delight, clapping wildly at him, she was wearing a jersey with their last name on the back, her hands coming down to pinch at it and flair it up and down against her chest in pride.

As soon as the ref let go of his hand, he walked to Gemma, his sister clapping a hand to his back and squirting some water in his face, washing off the sweat that now poured down his forehead. He grabbed the towel from her hands, bringing it up to wipe down the water that soaked his skin. "How about a celebration after that huh? You deserve it after that ultimate humiliation." Gemma bursted, hands flying up to smack playfully at his cheeks.

Harry took a short glance over at SnakeHead who was flaming at his corner, eyes barring into his back until they locked gazes, his body stiffening and chest puffing out. "Your dead Styles, I want a fucking rematch you dick!" He roared but Gemma was already tugging him out of the ring, squeezing him out between the wires and jumping down onto the concrete flooring. "What did I tell you?" Gemma questioned angrily, giving him frustratedly raised brows at him as she looked over her shoulder. "Don't make eye contact after the fight, you'll just get yourself into more shit." Gemma reminded him with a shake of her head, her silky blonde locks flowing over her shoulder. She gave his wrist a slight squeeze, a gesture of _'it's okay, just don't do it next time,_ ' as they turned a corner into the hallway that swerved into their dressing room.

Harry could still hear the yells from SnakeHead, loud and raged, he could just imagine the small broad-shouldered man fighting against the security. Harry was the worst after and before fights, before he would go out into the ring, his mind would be everywhere, picking at the gauze that Gemma would wrap tightly and protectively over his knuckles, he wouldn't stop practising, Gemma even told people that they meet after the show, unless the person wanted a fist to the throat, his practising being him just flying his fists at the air, uppercutting and pretending to duck, his green eyes blazing with determination, and throughout the whole time, his cross necklace would be placed softly between his lips, and Gemma once told him that she personally thought he was quite scary. But his mind after the fight was not set on pummelling his opponent or flying his fists at open air, no, his mind would be focused on what was going to come out from him almost punching that guys lights out, was he going to have to look over his shoulder when he partied? Was this dude actually psychotic? He was just a lump, wanting to sit down and stare into the wall for hours.

"Hey, get dressed, your fellow boxers are waiting for you outside. And they are getting all riled up." Gemma teased, giving him a small punch to his rock hard bicep before heading out, cheers booming into the room once she opened the door.

"-Totally owned him!" Liam's voice overlapped others making Harry smirk, a wash of silence taking over the atmosphere when Gemma closed the door. He stood in the middle of the room for a while, just stared at the door to the room, he knew he couldn't stare into walls for hours as he would have liked to, but he could at least stare at a door for a minute. He blinked and then rolled his neck, hearing a relieving pop come from his spine. He took his gloves off, setting them into his nike backpack, then his basketball shorts leaving him only in his briefs. He turned towards the body mirror leaning against the wall of the room, his hands coming to graze over the yellowing bruises that scattered his chest, arms, and one right on his jawline. They were like souvenirs, every show, every country, a small map of all the people he's met and places he's been, a weirdly memorizing sight for him. He let out a huff, moving his hands down at his sides to stare just one more second longer at his inked and bruised chest before turning back around to focus on getting changed.

He put on a black buttoned down shirt, hands buttoning it up slightly, letting his built pecks show, a yellowing bruise peeking out from his right side, his cross necklace dangling and shinning in the light. He then put on some black skinny jeans that had rips at the knees, the small ripples in the denim showing how truthfully tight they were, reminding him that Gemma always scolded him for wearing those, saying they were too girly for a slowly rising-to-fame boxer like him. He tugged the elastic out of his hair, wincing when it got tangled in his wild curls, deciding to just flatten his his hair with his hands. He looked into the mirror, fixing his bangs so they were swerved to the side of his face, he stared at his face, focusing on his eyes that were still wide from the fight, his body buzzing with victory.

"You coming Harold? The sweat smell is starting to get to me!" Gemma informed goofily from behind the door, her voice barely heard over the crowd of equally buzzing men. "Coming!" He answered, stuffing his water bottle and towel in the bag with his gloves, gauze and shorts, setting the elastic band for his hair on his wrist. He then hoisted the bag onto his shoulders and walked out to greet his friends and fairly annoyed sister.

As soon as he opened the door, a roar of cheers and congratulations flew in his face, making his fist stiffen against the knob. But the pat to his shoulder brought him back into his dimpled smile, turning his head to greet Liam, a fellow boxer of his.

Liam had a cut on his brow from a fight a few days back, his brown eyes shinning in delight, he was shouting how proud he was in Harry's ears making him shiver. "Thanks mate!" Harry yelled back, feeling another pair of hands come in contact with him making him look up surprised, Zayn, another fellow boxer and also Liam's and his best friend, was smiling up at him and patting at his chest, the cool feeling of Zayn's fingertips coming in contact with his still sweaty skin made him realize he wanted a cold shower when he got home. "Good job out there tonight mate, totally owned that weasel!" Zayn joked making Harry chuckle and shake his head, bringing a large hand down to Zayn's boney shoulder to pat. Zayn was a lot smaller and bonier then Harry and Liam, which was troubling when it came to people voting who would win, but Zayn's fights were always fun to watch, to just see the peoples faces when Zayn would pin the much larger man to the ground, it never failed to bring a smile to his face. Liam being the total opposite, the crowd always going for him, the big, furry bear that would step foot on the ring with pulsing biceps and a sharp jawline. Which meant, Liam was a professional, an honour to be around.

"Louis' waiting outside, he wanted to watch the dude freak out after you left." Zayn said when Harry was finished thanking everyone who came by his dressing room, Gemma tugging his backpack off to put over her shoulders as she followed close behind.

"I swear, that lad enjoys humiliation more then a good fight any day." Liam grumbled from beside him. Harry let out a chuckle, seeing Louis at the corner of the ring, sitting with his back facing them scrolling through his phone, the show obviously ending too soon for him. "He's a cheeky bastard, he can't be at work, so he needs to be extra harsh when he's at the ring," Harry explained, making Zayn and Liam chuckle lightly.

"Hey, Tommo, we're going to the bar, are you going to sit there like a lump or come and join us?!" Liam shouted, Louis flinching and then turning around, a goofy smile coming across his face once he saw Harry. He leapt off the ring and rushed over, stopping in front of Harry in a boxing stance, fists up in front of his face, one coming up to playfully punch at Harry's chest making him grunt. "Nice job out there, real arse you were. That smirk you had on your face made it hard for me not to laugh, people were looking at me weird, what a right douche that dude was aye?" Louis spat out all at once making Zayn come up to tug Louis into a headlock and pull him along to the exit of the small underground auditorium. Liam shook his head but smirked in amusement. "That dude was a douche." He agreed and then followed Louis and Zayn out the doors, Harry waiting for Gemma who was now holding her breath from the smell.

"Meet you there Styles!" Liam called out as he got into their fancy car, Louis at the wheel and Zayn in the back, the roof down onto the trunk. Harry nodded, walking off with Gemma to their van that was definitely not as fancy or expensive, something they didn't really care about at the moment, even though the van was barely able to stand on four wheels anymore. Gemma and Zayn had spray painted the sides of it, funny faces and cool graffiti words covering the back doors. It was a real gangster van, or what Harry liked to call it, junk van, like they bought it straight from the dump.

He watched as Louis sped off, burning the rubber in the tires as it screeched against the concrete, the posh-looking car zooming onto the streets. Harry let out a moan in embarrassment when Gemma started up the hunk of junk, the rough vibration and abrupt popping sound as it started made Harry cringe and glare out the window. "Oh, don't be sour, soon enough, if you keep this boxing shit up and if I can keep a job for more then a week, then maybe we'll get a car like that." Gemma assured, patting at his knee before the van finally jolted forwards.

The van trailed slowly down the busy evening traffic of London, Harry's eyes glued to the outside world, cheek smushed against his fist with his elbow leaned against the car door. He was thinking to hard, about the foolish man, how his whole body was addicted to the crunch against his knuckles or the feeling of him crunching against other boxers knuckles. It was a weird habit, but he had a reason to fight, just like any bully. But he didn't want to hit innocent people who had nothing wrong but to just be in the wrong place at the wrong time, no, he wanted to fight people who had the same addiction as he did. He knew not all boxer's had pasts like him, probably most did it because they were just good or had that as a hobby. But he was always a unique child, so staying unique wasn't a surprise to himself, or Gemma who had to live with watching him grow to be a strong but broken man. His parents were not the nicest bunch, his mother screwing over his father by drugging herself everyday, her room smelling like marijuana and her bedside table always dusted with a thin layer of white from cocaine. And he grew up with his parents bickering or sometimes even screaming at each other, he lived in his sisters room most of the time, hiding behind her back and whimpering between her shoulder blades. He wasn't the strong one, Gemma was, she took the punishments for him, she got the harsh smacks to the cheek, she had to cover herself up when they went to school. But when their mother died, which was when he was fourteen, Harry immediately changed, the burnt out lightbulb in his mind coming to life in full throttle. Their father becoming a drunk, an abusive man with depression and deep dark rage, the blue eyes he had were now dulled and shadowed into a black hole of darkness. And when his father first hit Gemma, smacked her hard against the cheek, making her head whip to the side, a cry leaving her lips, Harry immediately went into action, cursing his father off, shoving a stiff finger into his fathers chest.

And that set him off, and then, from that day forward, Gemma was nothing but the cries in the background as he got beaten to a pulp.

It has been three years since then, their father was locked up in jail for good, charges going from the worst, being child abuse, and then to drunk driving and alcohol abuse, even stealing from liquor stores. His father was nothing but a past obstacle in Harry's mind, a big one at that, which he had to face everyday. He enjoyed the beatings because he felt powerful and proud after, looking at his sister who was crying, but with healing bruises instead of new welts. It made him smile, and that happiness became a job, which is now an addiction, aka, boxing.

"Harry, god did you pass out or something? We're here." Gemma said, slapping at his knee before getting out of the van, the door creaking loudly and then shutting. He slowly got out of the van, his mind still a blur after getting those daily flashbacks, he felt like he was asleep for days after getting those, awaken from almost dying. And now that he had rubbed out that blackening stain in his heart, he was ready to party and forget the night, forget the past, celebrate him and his success.

But he knew by tomorrow, the stain would be back again, permanent and darker.

He wasn't drunk, but Gemma sure was, after just ten minutes in the bar, his sister was cackling stupidly at one of Louis' jokes, which, he had told three minutes ago. Liam and Zayn were playing pool, both with competitive and focused expressions on their faces, beers placed on the sides of the table. "I think your sister is going to need a lift home tonight." Louis said, with a chuckle, slowly taking the keys from her grip and sliding them across the table for Harry to grab and settle in his pocket. Louis flinched when Gemma flopped forward across the table to slam her hands against his arms that were settled on the table top, making his beer slightly spill out of the glass. "Gem's, calm down, no more beers tonight." Harry grumbled, rolling his eyes when Gemma made whining noises and leaned her cheek against his shoulder. "I'm not drunk Harreh, Louis' joke was just so funny," and Gemma barely finished her sentence before she was off in another giggle fit, flying her head off Harry's shoulder to fling it back against the booth seats.

Harry saw an escape, seeing Zayn and Liam walking out of the bar with smoke packs in hand, a sigh leaving his lips as he quickly got up. "Watch her, and make sure she doesn't buy anymore beers." Harry demanded, Louis holding his hands up in surrender, giving him a small nod in reassurance.

Harry walked out onto the London sidewalk, the cold blistering his cheeks into a rosy red. He sniffled, the smell of cigarettes coming from beside him made him slowly walk over, two figures who had to be his two mates stood beside the bar, talking quietly.

"Hey Styles!" Zayn yelled, his voice muffled by the cancer stick in his mouth. "Your sis' is pretty far gone now." Liam said with a chuckle once he came into view, he leaned against the brick wall, nodding with a small smile. "Yeah, I hate bringing her to bars sometimes, it never really goes well, you know, I don't want her ending up like-"

"No need to explain Haz, we understand" Liam said, patting at his shoulder sympathetically, Zayn nodding in agreement. Harry gave them a tight smile, nodding his head and scratching at his bruise on his jawline making him wince.

"Nasty one that one is aye? Sucks when it's right on the bone, I'm lucky this week, just got a few on me arms." Zayn said, changing the subject immediately to boxing, another thing Harry liked, they didn't mourn long. Zayn pulled up the sleeves on his arms, showing purples bruises overlapping the ink that scattered his skin. "Don't really show either, another bonus." Zayn said and Liam scoffed playfully, slapping at Zayn's tanned arms making him hiss in pain.

"Oi, it still hurts!" Zayn scolded and put the sleeves back down with a glare. "You guys haven't dealt with broken limbs before, just wait till you get to professional boxing, you'll be able to say you've broken every bone in your body." Liam said, which, Harry didn't know if he was bragging to them or warning them.

"Have you?" Zayn shot back, giving Liam a annoyed raised brow. "Close enough to not have enough fingers to count." Liam said, making Zayn shift his gaze to the floor with a frown. "Well, that's the beauty of boxing isn't it?" Harry chimed in with a smile, but Zayn seemed to lose interest in that conversation, shifting again to love lives.

"How's Sophia Li?" Zayn asked, Liam immediately lighting up. "Doing just fine, working in the fashion industry, I swear she's going to be the next Gucci inventor." Liam says proudly making Zayn chuckle and nod. "Haven't found anyone yet, but I'm still looking." Zayn said, giving them both a smile. "I want the perfect girl." He said dreamily, throwing his hands up in the air like a rainbow. Liam chuckled and nodded, patting Zayn on the back reassuringly. "You'll find the one soon mate." "What about you Harold, got a bloke yet?" Liam questioned, and Harry didn't see it coming, looking up at them like a deer in the headlights before answering with a simple, "no."

It was another perk at being a boxer, he felt free to tell anyone about anything, because if they talked shit about him, he was able to pound them into the floor. And people were just plan worried to say shit in the first place. He had come out to the world when he was fifteen, the world meaning his family and school, another sad part to his childhood, being called harsh words and bullied at school daily. But now, he had friends that cared, and Gemma, who cared from the start. They would always joke with him, asking if that one guy was cute or ugly, Gemma being the worst since she had the same gender taste, literally scolding him if he didn't think a certain guy was hot. So, times like these when they asked if he found a man, wasn't awkward or made his heart skip a beat. "Well, same goes to you, you'll find the one soon enough." Liam said, giving him the same gesture he did to Zayn.

"Let's go inside now, I'm getting frozen." Liam said, Zayn already walking to the door. "I'll be right in." Harry said, giving Liam a small nod before he closed the door.

And now Harry was alone, standing out in the middle of the sidewalk, staring up at the sky. Something he didn't do often, but tonight, well, was like every other night, but different in his head, something felt different, like he did something huge and memorable, when really, he just showed off a crowd of a hundred or more people.

Suddenly, someone had slammed into him, hard and fast, making him stumble sideways and fall on his arse. A gasp and the sound of skin slapping again concrete coming from beside him. "I'm so sorry, dear god, I'm so stupid." A boys voice gushed. Harry blinked rapidly, rubbing at his soar side before slowly getting up, his eyes locking at the sidewalk where the boy was still scrambling to grab his huge backpack, stuffed to the brim with things.

Harry immediately went into action, flinging his hands out to slowly help the boy up, a spark flying through his body when he held the boys hand and hoisted him up. "Again, I'm so sorry-"

"It's fine." Harry assured, flickering his eyes around the boys face who didn't dare look up at him. "You okay?" He asked, raising a brow when the boy's bangs fell over his blushed face. "I-I'm fine, I'm sorry, I need to get home." He said and then started walking again, but Harry noticed the bag that he could barely hold up over his shoulder, it was large, like a hockey bag, and the boy didn't seem dressed for a cold evening night like tonight, the only thing decent that he was wearing was a way too large jean jacket that looked to have a wool layer under it, but it didn't do much for his skeletal legs, him wearing tights and ballerina shoes with the strings tucked into the sides. And now that he was staring at those slim legs, he noticed just how much they were shaking from the freezing wind.

"You don't have a car?" Harry called and the boy stopped, not turning around, but just staring down at his dance shoes. "Uhm, n-no, but I can walk." He stuttered but Harry was already making plans, locking eyes with Liam in the bar, making a gesture to Gemma, mouthing ' _watch her'_ and Liam giving him a nod that he understood. "Come on, I'll drive-" He said once he turned back around towards the quivering beauty. 

"No, just, no, I don't know you sir and I'm not really up for a fight tonight." He said with a sigh, and it sounded like he's done this plenty of times before, trying to urge a man off who was trying to drive him home. A surge of anger flowed through Harry's body, making his eyebrows furrow together.

"Well, I can assure you, I am not going to hurt you. My names Harry Edward Styles." He said, giving the boy his full name. Harry just wanted to see that boys whole face, to be swept away by the beauty that hide behind the curtain of blond. But then, the boy slowly looked up, his head was shaking from the cold, cheeks ruby red and nose running, but those blue eyes that Harry met with made his heart stop, those were electrifying, and he was happy he didn't see those during the fight, or else they would have totally thrown himself off. Harry let out a sigh, a cloud of steam puffing into the air in front of him, he has never felt so in love, so struck by just staring at someone for a few seconds.

"Niall Horan, and I don't like violence, I have my best friend on speed dial and she will call the cops." Niall, the beautiful boy, threatened. Harry's heart skipping a beat at the _'I don't like violence,'_ but he nodded immediately, not wanting to stall the wonder boy in front of him, giving him a smile that was hopefully assuring before opening the shit van, cringing when it creaked and groaned. Niall chuckled, trying to hide a small smile by wiping at his nose, walking past him to climb into the van, it shifting under his weight as he sat down.

Harry closed the door, flinching when it banged a little too loudly in the silent night. He groped for the keys in his jean pocket and then pulled them out, rushing around the other side to get into the truck and start it immediately, being sure to turn on the heat for the beautiful Niall Horan's needs.

"Mm, thank you." Niall hummed, closing his eyes for a second and lying back, a small smile on his face as he cuddled into the seat. "What's your address?" Harry asked, waiting a few seconds, seeing Niall slowly open his eyes again, bags already forming under them. "Uhm, 22 Newburry St." He mumbled and then immediately shut his eyes again. Harry frowned, that was the street where he practised boxing, a nasty place with garbage floating around the streets and packing into the gutters. Homeless people in the alleyways picking at the garbage cans. And then the thugs and gangs that always hung out there, buying tickets to fights or practising fighting on the streets, beating people to pulps some nights, a nasty thing called _'street fighting.'_

He shook his head but slowly pulled out into the road, it now empty and illuminated by the street lights that lined the sidewalks. The car rumbled and made weird clicking sounds, but Niall seemed totally unaware, still sitting with the large bag on his lap, hands placed neatly overtop of it, eyes closed in bliss. And that was all Harry really cared about, so, he looked back to the road and went back to the auditorium were his fight was, gloomy and abandoned looking townhouses were on the other side of the street, dead plants outside of every house, windows either duck-taped or had garbage bags over the windows. And it was kind of hard to find the house numbers when most were fallen off or rusted over so badly you could barely see them, let alone it being night time.

He was about to pull over and go out alone to look, but then saw shouts and drunk laughter coming from down the sidewalk, his head slightly peeking out to see a large and ugly looking gang stumbling down the street, just waiting for a boy like Niall to pummel.

And that's when Harry decided that Niall wasn't going to sleep there tonight, his apartment was ten times better, and farther away from this madness.

"How about my pl-" but when he looked over, he could just tell Niall was sound asleep, arms limp against the bag, mouth slightly hung opened. His soft blond locks scrunched against the car seat as he laid his head back. It was a beautiful sight, and Harry had to strain himself from petting those fuzzy strands.

He took a u-turn and drove to his apartment, his mind scrambled from the night that had just taken place, fighting off a mole rat boxer, then bumping into a stunning young man. It was so fast and overwhelming, Harry would have to stop and just stare at another wall, reevaluate that he actually brought a man home, a majestic one at that, perfect for him. But what Niall said kept haunting him at the back of his mind, _'I don't like violence_ ' of course, no one did, but Harry did, he liked the feeling both ways, so really, there was no point in falling in love if he was just going to be disappointed in the end.

But he wasn't going to leave the boy, no, he'll do a good deed for the night.

A few minutes later and he's parked in the parking garage, Niall's head moving from the car seat to the window, his breath fogging up the glass. And once the van was finally shut off, taking a while as it clicked and clunked, Harry was shutting his door and rushing to the other side to pick Niall up, flipping the bag over his shoulder before carrying Niall in his arms.

Harry had almost ran into the walls about five times, his eyes locked down at Niall's pale face, all calm and peaceful, something different to stressed and sceptical when Harry first bumped into him. "Your very beautiful." Harry mumbled, knowing that Niall was still dead asleep, no flutter of the eyelids. He shuffled around till he had the bag on the floor, Niall's body loosely wrapped around him like a koala, Harry's hand awkwardly placed on the blond's bum as he scavenged for his keys in his pocket, hearing the clinking of them and pulling them out, wincing when Niall let out a soft mewl and buried his face into his neck. Harry couldn't help but coo and stare at the blond's face once again, this time, his lips twitching in the urge to lean in and kiss those soft and pink lips that were just inches from his jawline.

The door finally opened after the struggle of placing the key in the slot, it creaking opened and slightly hitting the wall. Picking the bag up and slightly shifting Niall in his embrace, he softly walked into his apartment, placing the bag neatly on the front halls bench and then walking down the hallway and into his room, where, Niall could stay for the night.

"Goodnight." Harry whispered, slowly setting Niall down on the bed, shuffling the covers down and then up to tuck the petite blond in. Niall didn't answer, but a small smile evolved on his barely illuminated face. Then, he shifted onto his side and settled a hand on the pillow, shielding Harry from seeing his face. Harry didn't even realize he was was staring for so long until his phone rung in his pocket, making him jump and rush out, closing the door behind him.

He rushed down the hallway till he was in the living room, boxes of pizza from the night before scattered around the coffee table, obviously showing that he nor Gemma were neat people.

"Hello?" Harry answered the phone, pressing the speaker to his ear, his voice was barely above a whisper, desperately trying not to wake the obviously exhausted boy.

_"Harry? God, I called you about three times, where are you? You better not be fucking that little bloke that I saw jump into your van!"_ Zayn scolded, Liam and Louis' voices in the background, sounding like they were coxing an even drunker sounding Gemma out of the bar.

"Fuck, did Louis not watch her? She sounds even more wasted!" Harry grumbled, ignoring Zayn's frantic questions. Zayn let out a sigh, giving Liam and Louis a demand to let her sit down on the curb. The scuffle of the phone moving and then Zayn's voice finally answering him.

_"No, she's just getting into that 'why did I drink so much, I'm going to be so hung over tomorrow' faze."_ And Harry rolled his eyes, sitting down on the couch and scratching at his scalp.

"Can you guys drop her off? I didn't fuck the lad, he was just walking alone and looked scared out of his mind so I offered to drop him off, but hell, he was already passed out as soon as he hit the car seat, and his place was swarming with gang members, I'd rather not have the fun of beating up more guys." Harry explained and Zayn let out a frustrated sigh from the other line, and Harry was about to plead again when Zayn interrupted him.

_"Why are you such a nice lad, but so ruthless at the same time?"_ Zayn asked, making Harry chuckle and shrug, knowing Zayn wouldn't have known he did that. _"Okay, fine, but I'm asking the bartender for some paper bags, I do not want her vomiting over Liam's seats."_ Zayn grumbled and Harry thanked him, hanging up right after Zayn un-amusingly said goodbye.

He set his phone down beside one of the many pizza boxes scattered on the table and then leaned back against the couch, one part of the day, that may only last a few minutes before Zayn, Liam and Louis come stumbling in with Gemma half hung over their shoulders, to just think and let his mind flashback to the most memorable events, also, think about how the hell did he get blessed with such beauty? But Niall would never want to date him, a secretly psycho boxer who is addicted to making pain and feeling pain, who also has a horrible and abusive past that was somewhat weird and confusing. Niall was all beauty and porcelain, breakable and elegant, then there's Harry, already broken, as hard and as boring as a rock, and has no sense of handsomeness or beauty inside or out.

Why couldn't he have just shoved his thoughts away and follow his mates back into the bar? Or just simply stay leaned against the building, ignore the petite boy walking hesitantly along the sidewalk?

But it seems, his whole life has been nothing but bad choices or being in the wrong place at the wrong time.


	2. I Know He'll Be The Death Of Me, At Least We'll Both Be Numb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Song: Can't Feel My Face By The Weeknd

Harry jolted up off the couch once he heard footsteps thumping against the hardwood floor. He groaned and rubbed at his eyes, the light shinning through the large windows in the living room, not helping the deep blur that layered his sight.

The footsteps came closer until a large fuzzy figure was in front of him, staring down at him with an amused chuckle. And at first, Harry thought it was his last opponent, SnakeHead, or whatever his stupid name was, and he almost jolted his fist out, only to have his bicep caught and slammed back down onto the cushions.

Looking up, blinking rapidly, trying to get his sleep-dazed sight to focus, he slowly started to piece together who was assaulting him, the dark scruff, birth mark, short brown hair and broad shoulders.

"What the fuck Liam?" Harry groaned, loosening his tensed up muscles from Liam's demanding grip. A chuckle left Liam's lips, shaking his head and patting Harry against the shoulder, acting like he was just having a tickle fight with him, let alone breaking into his house at who-knows-how-early in the morning and harassing him.

"Mate, it's time for practise, I kind of guessed Gemma was going to pass this morning since she barely got through the front door without throwing up. You were already passed out on the couch when we got here, so I didn't want to wake you and tell you that I was going to pick you up." Liam explained, holding his hands up in surrender and backing up so Harry could slowly gather himself up and get off the couch.

"Shit, what time is it?" Harry grumbled, scratching at his scalp and letting out a loud and wide yawn, stretching his tensed up back and sighing when his spine thankfully popped. "Well, your half an hour late, Zayn's waiting at the training centre and is getting impatient, but he said he'll let it slip by, your lucky I told him about your little guy friend that's passed out in your room, got to say, he's a good looking lad, perfect for yo-"

But Harry didn't let Liam finish his long sentence, punching Liam in the gut playfully, trying to make it not look like he was blushing as he bolted up to manoeuvre past him, but he really didn't want Niall to hear them if he was already awake, the sense of paranoia washing over him when Liam brought the blond up.

"I'll be ready in ten minutes, I'm just going to take a quick shower since I didn't get one last night." Harry said, his voice was raspy and low, and Liam probably didn't hear him, as he avoided his gaze and rushed down the hallway, but right now, Harry was grumpy, tired and still a little bewildered about all the emotions he's built just overnight, from anger, to happiness, to unbreakable love. It could burst a persons skull opened if they weren't used to emotions so strong, but Harry was, having to deal with his disgusting excuse for parents and dragging himself along the road to adulthood, trying to get paid, having to work extra hard when Gemma would lose her job, it was a total mess, and in that mess was well, the emotions, and they just about destroyed him.

He had tossed his clothing onto the toilet, only in his boxers as he turned on the tap and shower, shuffling out of his boxers and then eagerly getting into the much needed shower. He probably smelt horrendous, since he didn't get to have a shower last night, and having a fight where he was absolutely drenched in sweat, he hoped Niall didn't notice the unattractive stench.

He could hear Liam walking around when he got out of the shower, the lad probably getting his things ready so they could leave, which, again, he hoped he hadn't disturbed Niall. The beautiful blond was exhausted last night, obvious by how he passed out on his passenger seat, barely able to get into his shitty van. Which, brought Harry to halt in the drying of his body, wondering how he was going to get his clothes, and, what he's going to do when he's at work and Niall wakes up alone in a random flat.

He flinched when he suddenly heard the clink of metal and screams coming from the kitchen, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, rushing out of the bathroom and down the hall till he was flying into the kitchen, immediately putting his hands up once he saw Niall, with bags under his eyes and obviously still tired, but blue eyes wide and terrified as he held a knife from the cabinet beside him, in front of him. Whipping it around from Harry to Liam.

"Where the fuck am I?!" Niall shouted, wiggling the knife in his tight grip, his gaze locked with Harry who he probably recognized.

"Uhm, th-this is my place, your at my flat. You fell asleep in my van and I couldn't find your house number so I just took you here." Harry explained quickly, leaving out how he was protective over him.

Niall raised a brow, his face softening in regret as he slowly dropped the knife to his side, an apologetic smile crawling up his pale face. "I'm, so sorry, Harry, and, whoever you are." Niall mumbled and then rushed off past them and down the hallway, closing the door to Harry's room with a loud bang.

Liam glared at him, now not so interested in meeting the small blond. "I came in here to get an apple, and what do I get? A little blond Irish guy swinging a knife at my chest." Liam growled, pushing past Harry with his duffle bag slung over his shoulder. "I'll meet you in the car, I don't want to be in the same flat as a psychopath." Liam then walked out, slamming the door behind him grumpily.

Why was this morning filled with slamming doors?

And through all this, Gemma was still asleep in her room, the hangover taking over her body in what seemed like an exhausting way, but it was better then waking up at six o'clock in the morning to hold his sisters hair as she puked her guts out.

The door to his room opened hesitantly, Niall slowly walking out with his large bag in hand, dressed in the same clothes as he was last night. "Uhm, thank you for having me stay for the night. I'm sorry for intruding, you obviously have a morning routine I fucked up." Niall looked cute trying to apologize, hands twiddling around with the bag straps, head down trying to hide his blush as his blue eyes stared down his chiseling torso through that curtain of blond hair.

"How about me mate and I drive you home? The place I work at is right on that street." Harry insisted while he walked past Niall and rushed into his room, not letting the blond protest as he closed his door and quickly got changed.

He walked back out in a muscle shirt and basketball shorts, smiling in relief that Niall was still there, sitting on a stool in the kitchen. Lifting his head of once he saw Harry walk in. "Let's get going." Harry said and motioned for Niall to follow him, both boys putting on their shoes and walking out the door, down the flight of stairs and out the front door of the apartment building, Liam standing out front leaning against his car, sunglasses on looking like a badass, but on Harry's part, a loser.

"Hey, mind if you have another passenger?" Harry asked, knowing that Liam was going to have to say yes. Liam looked like he was about to protest, but Niall's look of guilt as he stared shyly at Liam made his face crumble. "Fine, get in." Liam huffed out and walked to his side of the car, getting in and starting it up as Niall got in the back and Harry got into the front.

Niall looked to be on his phone from the look of the review mirror as Harry sat in the passenger seat. And seemed to nonstop text till they got to the boxer training place.

"Thanks for the ride, but uhm, mind if I wait here for a few minutes. Only a few, my friend is coming to pick me up, I have dance in an hour." Niall said as they got out of the car, Liam gave Harry a glance, shrugging his shoulders, not caring if the small blond joined them, so, Harry nodded.

"Of course, no problem." He said and opened the door for Niall, the blond giving him a grateful smile before walking into the building.

 

The sound of gloves hitting the boxing bag and the 'oomph' of concentrated groans immediately hung in the air as they walked in, the view of Zayn shirtless, punching furiously at a bag hung on the ceiling, sweat dripping from his face.

"Hey! Malik!" Liam shouted over the noise, Zayn stopped, smiling and taking out the earbuds he had in his ears, turning down the music from his iPhone that was settled in his basketball short pockets.

"Oh, is this the blond you took home with you?" Zayn smirked devilishly, raising his brows as he walked over to the two who still stood by the entrance, Liam was already getting set up to box.

"Uhm, yeah it is. He's just here to wait for his friend." Harry said awkwardly, he has never been this shy, he felt so vulnerable. But Niall didn't look any better, picking at his fingernails and setting the curtain of blond locks back over his face.

"Well, don't just stand there Styles, show him a thing or two while he waits, he looks like he could use some meat on him." Zayn teased and gave Harry's shoulder a playful punch before rushing off to play fight with Liam.

"Uhm, would you like to, learn some things?" He asked and the blond flinched, not expecting Harry to speak.

"No, I've already barged in enough with your life, I don't want you thinking you need to-"

"Your not barging in anything, I would enjoy teaching you something. So I feel a little comfortable leaving you alone walking around the street at night." Harry said, and Niall smiled and slowly nodded, setting his bag on the floor and walking over with Harry.

"I just want to remind you if you didn't hear from last night. I don't like violence, so just, tell me how to push the guy off it he comes at me, and then I'll be fine." Niall said, and that pang in Harry's chest came back, he didn't like that, he liked Niall a lot, but he was all violence, his life was build around violence.

"Alright, how about some dodging then?" He asked as he strapped on his gloves and rolled his shoulders. Niall nodded stiffly, standing so straight but still looking so small.

"Okay, first, when I come at you with my glove, I want you to duck." Harry said simply, the blond nodding and waiting for Harry to move.

He moved slowly, of course, and the blond quickly ducked and watched as Harry's fist missed his head an flew across the air.

"Good, now, the other fist." And they did it over again, Niall doing good the next time. The blond looking proud of himself as he smiled up at Harry.

Now I'm going to do both, a little faster now." And they did it another time, Niall was doing well, very well actually, and it surprised Harry.

"Wow, next time, we should work on your blocking." Harry said and the blond gave him a small smile, but Harry sadly realized, this was probably the last time he'll see the blond.

Their awkward silence was broken by the door opening to the building. They all thought it would he another man coming to box, but no, it was a pretty, equally petite to Niall, girl, blonde hair sweeping down her shoulders, big, red lipstick smeared along her lips. It made her smile look stunning as she saw Niall.

"Hey, ready?" She asked and Niall nodded, the blond seemed to instantly light up, and Harry couldn't help but wish the boy could react that way towards him.

"Yeah, of course!" Niall said and quickly rushed over and grabbed his bag.

"Thanks Harry, and thank you Liam for the ride." Niall said, Liam and Zayn both stopping to watch Niall go, but it looked like Zayn was more interested in the girl.

"Oh, this is Perrie by the way, she's my best friend." Niall informed, and she shyly waved at them, her eyes locking with Zayn's, an immediate blush coming across her cheeks.

Niall noticed and couldn't help the smile crawling up his lips. He grabbed her arm, whispering something into her ear as he pulled out a piece of paper and wrote something down with a pen that she had in her purse. They both then looked back at the three boxers.

"Thank you, Harry, for letting me stay the night. Here's my number, I need to repay you for your good deed." Niall said and gave Harry a piece the of paper, a number scribbled on the front.

Harry wanted to object, say that the blond didn't have to repay him for anything, but then again, he got his number, and maybe this won't be the last time seeing him. So, he just smiled and nodded.

"Well, we have to get going. See you again sometime, alright?" Niall gave Harry one last look and assuring nod before the blond was grabbing Perrie's hand and tugging her out of the building and down the street towards the girls car.

"Wow." Zayn said breathless, he looked in shock, standing frozen in his spot, still staring at the spot that Perrie used to stand.

"Wow." He said again and flinched when Liam clapped his hand onto his shoulder. "Looks like two of my mates found someone, you guys should go on a double date." Liam teased and gave them both a wink before walking off back towards the punching bags.

"Niall won't like me after he finds out how badly I'm into this boxing stuff." Harry sighed and immediately frowned, walking off to start punching again on the punching bags, just getting into his stance when Zayn spoke up, sitting himself down on one of the plastic chairs.

"He does know! He was just here getting lessons from you." Harry was shaking his head at the start of Zayn's sentence.

"He doesn't realize I do this professionally, that I actually hurt people for a hobby." Harry started to box again, letting out loud grunts as he pounded into the bag.

"Well then he isn't the one for you if he can't take what's most important in your life." Liam says, patting at Harry's tense shoulders and then going back to do his own punching.

Harry just hit the bag harder, gritting his teeth as his gloves harshly made contact with the bag, making it swing back and forth by the chain hung on the ceiling.

He wanted Niall to be the one, but the blond was so little, so petite and fragile. And he was so violent, so bulky and problematic, they didn't fit at all together, and maybe never will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such a long wait, sorry, but hopefully it was worth it. Comment and tell me what you thought.
> 
> If you want more stories of mine, my wattpad is: Direction_Minx


	3. I Know You Got A Lot To Lose, But Ain't Nobody Here But Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys could, I know you'd murder me for being this late into updating. But I have so much stories to work on and I lost interest in this for awhile, but I watched the Rocky movie and it was so good that I just got so much ideas for this book, so now I'm back. But with no assurance I'll have a quick update after this, I know, I'm a horrible person. Forgive me? :)
> 
> Title from Song: Next By The Weeknd

Harry couldn't stop staring at the little piece of paper with Niall's phone number on it. One hand holding it tightly in his grasp, the other holding his cellphone. Thumb hovering over the dial.

"Just call him already!" Gemma groaned from the bathroom. She had been there since shortly after Harry had left for training. And was still there when Harry got back.

"I don't know if he'll want me to. Gems I'm living on a lie here, I haven't told him that I fight in rings for a living." He yelled from the living room, forcing himself to set the piece of paper and phone down.

He ran his fingers through his long locks, laying his head against the back of the couch and closing his eyes. Consuming himself in his own thoughts. Should he call him? Or should he not?

The sound of the toilet flushing brought him out of his debate. He opened one eye, looking to see his sister shuffling out of the bathroom and slumping in one of the plush chairs across from him.

"Just tell him Harold. If he doesn't like you for you, then screw him." She croaked out, her eyes were still squeezed shut, fingers pressed against her temples from the banging headache.

He huffed, Gemma was right. But he has never felt so in love before, he always thought he had no taste in any human being. But once he laid eyes on Niall, he saw this new prospective on the world.

He didn't answer to Gemma, just stood up and took the paper and phone in his hands.

"I'm gonna call him tonight, see if I can meet him tomorrow for dinner or something." He mumbled, patting Gemma comfortingly on the shoulder and walking off to his room.

He thought maybe hitting some air-punches and doing some exercise would help him forget about Niall for at least a little bit, but it seemed the blond was stuck in his mind, and never able to be shaken off.

"Fuck." He swore under his breath as he did one last punch and then gave up, he just settled for having a nap, hopefully he wouldn't dream about the pretty blond.

 

He woke up and thought he failed again, because that was the usual problem for him. But as he looked at the time, it was already eight o'clock.

He bolted up and grabbed his phone, taking the piece of paper to look off of as he quickly dialled the boys number. He was going to hyperventilate, he's never slept so late in the day.

"Hello?"

His heart stopped, he pushed the phone as close as possible to his ear, he was shaking in excitement and worry.

"Uhm. H-hi, is this Niall?" He stuttered out, he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw in disappointment in himself.

"Yes, is this, Harry?" The boys voice was so smooth, and light. It made butterflies flutter in Harry's stomach.

"Yes, Niall, I was wondering if you wanted to go out for dinner tomorrow?" He clenched his eyes shut, he wanted to hear the answer but didn't at the same time. It was so intense.

"Oh. I have dance all this week except on Sunday, do you think you're free then?" Harry's heart sank, no, he wasn't free, he had fights on the weekend.

"Shit, uhm, I have plans with my sister." He mumbled, cursing himself for lying.

"Well, I'll call when I'm free or I can see if I can shorten my dance lessons. But my teacher is pretty strict." Niall said, he sounded pretty disappointed.

Harry nodded, closing his eyes and beating himself up in his mind. He loved this boy too much, he has never felt this way before.

"Hello?" He flinched and reopened his eyes, realizing he didn't speak to Niall, he quickly said an "okay" before saying goodbye to the blond, them both hanging up at the same time after.

He sat on his bed for a few minutes, just staring at the opposite wall of his room. What was so amazing about this pretty blond boy? He had two eyes and a nose, two legs and two arms. Nothing special about him, nothing unique. It was just something in Harry's heart that suddenly locked with Niall's, and now he was too far gone.

He got up after that, dragging his feet along the floor as he opened the door to his room and walked down the hallway. He saw Gemma laying down on the couch, watching some random television show, she looked to be sleeping, but when he passed by her, her eyes flew opened.

"How's it going little bro? Did you call that lad?" She tried to sit up, but groaned and her hand immediately smacked against her forehead, her hangover was still at her in full swing.

"Don't wanna talk about it." He mumbled, slumping on the chair beside the couch and staring blankly at the tv. He felt this lump in his heart, he missed Niall so much, and he only met that blond once.

"Oh come on, did he insult your boxing? Say he has a boyfriend? Or that he's straight?" She managed to get herself to lean against the back of the couch, she was squinting at him, brows furrowed in pain.

Harry looked her way, glaring at Gemma who just looked so innocent and clearly uncomfortable. Her hair was all mangled and knotted on her head, makeup smudged and caked under her eyes.

"None of that, just, he's busy all this week except Sunday, and you know, I have my matches on the weekend." He pouted and slumped against the chair, crossing her arms over his chest.

Gemma rolled her eyes the best she could, letting out a weak chuckle.

"You've got to be kidding me, I've never thought of you as a wussy Harold, since I see you beat down guys two days a week, but I don't know anymore, I'm looking at a whole new man." She teased, but Harry was offended.

"What do you mean wussy? I'm everything but!" He leaned forward, he was very into this conversation now, trying to redeem his ego.

Gemma wasn't fazed but his tough-guy behaviour, just shook her head and moved her gaze to the television again.

"You can't tell him that you're a boxer. You've been faced with way worse dilemmas in your life Styles, you'll get over him soon enough if he doesn't like what you do." She didn't understand, no one did. This wasn't just a crush, or someone he thought he might love, this was love at first sight, and Harry wasn't much of a believer of many things, but now he's changed his mind.

Instead of fighting his sister more on this, he just shook his head and got up, walking to the front door and grabbing his jacket.

"I'm going out, I'll be back soon." He mumbled, not waiting for a reply as he walked out and slammed the door behind him.

 

It's been two weeks, and Harry hasn't talked to Niall since that night he called him. He thought to himself that maybe he could forget about the blond, that if he distracted himself with other things and boxed longer every day, that Niall would just leave his mind. But it never got better, those blue eyes and blond hair were stuck in his mind.

He sat in one of the plastic chairs in the gym, watching Liam and Zayn practice together, he was huffing and puffing, exhausted from the two hour training.

The two stopped after a minute, both walking over to slump in the two chairs beside him. It was silence until Harry remembered that girl Perrie that was friends with Niall, did Zayn and her meet?

"Any contact with Perrie?" He asked, looking over to Zayn who just finished drinking from his water bottle.

"Yeah, met up with her for dinner on Sunday last week, why?" He turned to Harry, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"Just, I haven't spoken to Niall in two weeks, just wondering if I still got a chance." He mumbled, moving his glance to his taped up hands.

"She said something about Niall on the phone yesterday, she said she was worried about him. I guess Niall's a workaholic with his dance stuff, never seems to stop." Harry was interested now.

"Is he okay?" He was staring intently down at his hands, he was suddenly very worried. Was Niall trying to get away from something? Distract himself like he did with him?

"I don't know mate, didn't really wanna get into it. But I can give you Perrie's number, have you call her up." Harry shook his head, he didn't want to look desperate or act like a stalker.

"I'm gonna head home. See you boys tomorrow." He walked out the gym with his gym bag, getting into the junk van and then driving off back to his house, but once he saw his boxing ring in view, a picture of Niall suddenly popped into his mind.

He didn't really realize what he was doing until he was parked in front of the blonds house, he just stared at the front door for a while before opening the car door and walking up the pathway and onto the front porch.

It was such a gross area, no beautiful boy like Niall should live like this, but he barely knew the boy, maybe there was more to just a pretty face and dancing feet.

His hand was frozen in mid-air, hovering over the door like someone was going to knock for him. He thought calling Perrie was being to much like a stalker, but here he was, at the blond's doorstep and having a five minute session of just staring at the house in his car. 

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut for just a second before he was knocking on the door. Immediately he was regretting that reflex, he was starting to breath harshly, hands sweating. He was just taking a step back and ready to bolt towards his junk-van when the door opened. Now he was screwed. 

He didn't turn around, he just looked down at his running shoes, back facing the door. 

"Harry?" A small voice called from the door, it sounded unsure and almost scared. Harry slowly turned around, giving the blond a shaky smile and making Niall return one. 

"Sorry about all this, just, didn't really know why I uh-okay bye." He was stuttering, the boxer-Harry was somewhere swallowed in a black hole, this new Harry was shy and anti-social. 

"No, wait." He froze again, this time at the first step down to the sidewalk from Niall's porch. He didn't look over his shoulder again, he couldn't look the blond in the eyes. What a coward. Gemma was right. 

"Uhm, I don't have dance till 5, so you can stay here for a little bit. Maybe have a cup of tea?" Harry liked that idea, he liked that a lot. And the cowardly part was slowly washing away from him as he walked back up the steps and hesitantly walked into Niall's home. 

He couldn't help wrinkling his nose in disgust at the smell and look of the place. It wasn't a pigsty, everything was really neat, actually. But there was a draft going through the house, making him have to keep his coat on as he walked to the living room. It smelt like dead animal in the place, like something was stuck up in the walls. 

"I know it smells horrible and it's cold as hell but this is the only place I'll be able to afford for a while." Niall mumbles, disappearing into the kitchen. Harry sat down on the couch that was reasonably nice looking, moving his eyes around the place and catching every detail. He wanted to know more things about the blond, not that he was just a dancer and a workaholic. 

He saw many photos hung on the wall, some framed others just taped on. They ranged from polaroids to fancy high quality ones. Most were of Niall and Perrie, others of people dancing or nature photos of a park or pond, some where of buildings, pieces of art and cafes. It brought a smile on his face, but a question in his mind. Where was his parents? His family?

"Here you go." Niall walked back into the room, setting a cup of tea down for Harry and then walking to the other side of the table to sit in a ripped up, foam chair with wooden legs that looked ready to collapse.

"I don't mind your place, I mean, it's more welcoming and nice when you see the photos." Harry pointed to them scattered around the wall and Niall smiled, blushing slightly and staring down at his tea. 

"I took them myself, it's just a silly hobby." Niall shrugged it off, taping at the porcelain cup. 

"It looks more like a profession, they're magnificent." Harry stood up and walked towards them, moving a finger up to slide down one of the frames. He couldn't help the smile on his face when he saw Niall's big smile and bright, wide blue eyes. 

"Thank you, Harry." Niall said that and then it was a silence that went over them, it wasn't a comfortable silence or an awkward one. Niall was just there and Harry was just there, they were enjoying each others company silently. 

"What do you do Harry?" Niall asked, watching Harry settle himself down back on the couch. 

Harry stiffened and cursed himself in his head when Niall asked that. He didn't really know what to say, he was starting to regret coming to Niall's again. 

"Uhm, just at a bakery." He said, he tried to keep eye-contact with Niall, trying to keep calm so the blond couldn't sense his lie. 

"Bakery? Oh, you're a cook or just serve people?" Niall asked, straightening in his chair. Harry really wanted to drop the subject, but couldn't finding a topic to swerve into. 

"Uh, I-I bake." He mumbled, trying a little too hard to keep his cool. It wasn't a total lie, he did used to work at a bakery before all the shit crashed down to pieces with his family, he was the one in the back with flour caked around his hands and up to his elbows. Sometimes Gemma would let out a laugh and try to playfully rub-off flour that had sneakily stuck to his cheek without him noticing. But that was years ago, he had no plan on going back. 

"Like cakes, pies and biscuits? Cookies and brownies?" Niall asked and Harry nodded stiffly. He was fidgeting now, he wanted to leave, but he really didn't. 

"Just that kind of stuff but uh, I wanted to change the subject if I could. What about our date? Are you free anytime this week?" Harry asked, and he was waiting for the 'no,' cringing even as the silence dragged on and on until Niall finally spoke. 

"I'm dancing all week again, but on Friday I have dance till 5, so maybe right after we can hit a bar?" Harry breathed out a sigh of relief that Niall noticed, the blond letting out a giggle. 

"You really want to have that date, don't you?" Niall asked in his giggle fit. 

"Y-yeah, I really do actually." Harry played with the ring on his pointer-finger. 

"That must mean you really like me." Niall said, and Harry felt the blush rush to his cheeks. He looked up through his eyelashes, seeing that Niall was blushing also. 

"I guess I do." Harry mumbled.

 

Harry had never really had a jump in his step when he would walk to the ring for his weekend fight. But today he was beaming, smile high across his cheeks. 

"Okay, let me guess. Niall and you are going on a date soon?" Liam asked as they watched Gemma tape Harry's hands up in the dressing room. 

"You guessed right." Harry said, giving Liam a wink. 

"Curly has a boyfriend?!" Louis shouted from the corner of the room, mouth full of food and one hand occupied with his skateboard. 

"Not a boyfriend, not yet at least. He's just someone I fancy." Harry said, rolling his eyes and forcing down a laugh that was ready to burst from his lungs seeing Louis look so shocked. 

"I have to see him now. God I need to now. He's gotta be hot, how'd you meet? Did you have sex yet?!" Louis was rushing towards Harry, but the curly lad put his hands out, stopping Louis from coming any closer. The brunet let out a quick breath of air, winded by Harry's strength. 

"Yes. Too long of a story. And why the hell should I tell you?" Harry answered, taking his hands back and doing a quick stretch. Letting Zayn come in front of him and do a quick swing and dodge. 

"Understandable, but you know me I need the full details. I need the juicy shit." Louis teased and Harry didn't bother answering that time, just let out a chuckle and walked out of the dressing room. Liam and Zayn following, Louis doing that also, whining Harry's name until they came to the large double-doors that was the entrance to the ring. 

"Ignore him. He'll get over it soon. Now, you ready?" Zayn asked, squeezing Harry's shoulder. Liam was grabbing Harry's boxing gloves. 

"I will, promise. I always wipe my mind before I go on, you know that." Harry said and Zayn nodded, patting him on the shoulder once more before letting him go and letting Liam put on his gloves and give him his mouth guard. 

"Louis will be at the corner, giving the water and holding the towel. You know the drill." Liam said, and then the two fellow boxers were opening the double doors. Harry rushing out into the ring as soon as the man finished introducing him. 

He got into the ring, taking the mouth guard out as he waited for the other boxer to get into the ring. He placed his cross necklace between his lips like always, feeling the metallic taste in his mouth. He closed his eyes for just a second when the ref had finished introducing the other player, just for a second. 

But instead of his mind going blank, it was filled with blond hair, blue eyes and pale skin. He had to reopen them fast when he started to picture Niall's whole face. He usually had his mind totally wiped before the show, he had just told Liam that, but apparently Niall was permanent not only in his heart, but in his mind too. Soon the blond will be consuming him.

The man had walked out, growling at Harry and giving him a death glare. Harry shook his head of Niall, letting the necklace go from the embrace of his lips and it falling back onto his already sweaty pecks. He then quickly placed the mouth guard in, hitting his gloves together two times before walking into the middle of the ring. The opponent doing the same, trying to tower over Harry, a deep scowl still on his face. 

At least he wasn't mouthy like the last douchebag. 

Then it was a few seconds later before bell rang throughout Harry's ears, the man faster then he thought and punching him harshly in the jaw. Spit flew from his mouth, him having the roll his jaw to get the feeling back, a bruise pulsing through the skin ready to show. 

But as soon as he recovered, he was punching the opponent right back, one gloved fist going low and twisting into the other mans gut, making him fly back and bend over. Harry then moved forward so the man was right up against him, fist punching faster and faster, taking turns hooking into the mans torso. Blow after blow. 

A second later-everything so fast, people screaming and cheering his name-the man was crumpled on the ground, trying desperately to get up. His team was slamming the fists against the ring, yelling-no, screaming at him to get up. The ref was counting to ten, his own fist slamming against the ring. The whole building was in loud cheers, he could hear Louis' high-pitched accent behind him celebrating already. 

But the man was on his feet at the seventh call, wobbly but slowly getting back to his balance. Harry bounced along his feet, fists up, arms tense and protecting himself. Sweat was dripping like mini waterfalls down his body, forming some shield of coolness around him. 

The opponent let out a growl and flung himself at Harry, but the curly lad was waiting for that, fist coming out and knocking the man right on his ass again. His fist had connecting with the mans temple, and he was out cold for a good five yells to the ref. He was trying to get up again, grabbing for the border of the ring but slipping and falling right back down. He just laid there till the ref hit ten, and the crowd roared. 

"And the winner is, Harry Styles!" The ref grabbed his wrist, throwing his arm up over his head in triumph. He didn't smile, he didn't cheer with the crowd, his mind was full with Niall. Feeling guilt eating away at him, like Niall was in the crowd right now, looking at him in disgust. Screaming 'liar' over the yells of his fans and then running out into the streets. 

He blinked twice to get the thought out of his head, and gave Gemma a smile when she came rushing over. Throwing her arms around him in a hug. 

"Good job bro, knew you could do it." 

He smiled again, and then he was hoarded with Louis, Liam, and Zayn as they rushed over and huddled around him for a group hug. His head getting shook around when the boys patted his head and grabbed at his face. 

He had to remind himself that this is what he loved, that he shouldn't change for one person. Niall wasn't the only beautiful boy in England, or in the world really. But it sure felt like it as they walked back to the dressing room, he couldn't get Niall out of his head. 

 

"Stop freaking out, god I thought girls were bad with getting ready for dates. But fuck Harry." Gemma chuckled out, trying to fix Harry's tie but struggling because the curly lad wasn't standing still. 

"I'm sorry, I haven't been on a date in a while, you know that. Or really fancied someone this much." Harry mumbled, calming his nerves down and letting Gemma finish up with his tie. She creased down the wrinkles in his dress shirt that he had in the back of his closet for years and years. The last time he wore it, it was for his mothers funeral. 

"We should really find more shirts, god this thing just reeks depression and bad memories." Gemma made a sour face and stepped back, but it slowly turned into a small smile when he looked into the mirror. 

"He'll love it though. But no sex on the first date, I'm not having a night of no-sleep because you two are fucking in the other room." Harry blushed deeply and punched her lightly on the shoulder. She giggled and gave him a wink before walking out of the room so he could fix himself up for last-minute finishing touches. 

He played around with his hair that seemed to have a mind of its own and didn't seem to want to cooperate with him. It just dangled messily down his shoulders, so all he could do was run his fingers through his bangs and flip it over the side so it was curled away from his eyes. He froze when he caught a glimpse of the bruise sprouting out along his jaw, he cursed under his breath. How was going to hide that? He's never had to worry about those kind of things, but now he's panicking. 

"Are you picking him up?" Gemma called from outside the door, he moved towards it and opened it. Walking out to meet with her. 

"Yeah, what time is it?" He asked, putting on his equally old and bad-memory-filled dress shoes. 

"5:15." She said. 

"Oh, I got to go. I'm late. But I need you to help me quickly with something" He said frantically. Gemma raised a brow at him, confusing written on her face until she he turned his head, showing her the purplish-yellow bruise. 

"Oh shit, yeah you'll need to fix that up. God I want to lector you so much on lying to your dates but you're in a rush, I know." She disappeared down the hallway and then came right back with a skin-coloured powder in one hand, a brush in the other. 

"This will help, just don't rub that area or this stuff will come off." She dabbed the brush into the powder and then lightly brushed it along his jawline. A a minute later she was done.

He walked to the mirror, straining his neck and jutting out his jaw to look at it, impressed at how it disappeared so easily with the powder. 

"Thanks." He mumbled, staring at the clock and cursing. He quickly kissed Gemma on the cheek and mumbled out for her not to do anything stupid, which he received a slap to the shoulder from. But then he was off down to the junk van and then speeding down the road till he turned onto the road right outside Niall's house. 

He had, once again, just stared up at Niall's house. Looking at the number on the door, just waiting for something he didn't really know of. The first time was pretty worrisome, but now this time it's even worse. He's going on a date with him now, the blond will be his and only his for the night. Just them across from each other, eating and getting to know each other. 

He blew out his cheeks, closing his eyes for a second to calm his nerves and then opened the door and walked out. Not stopping until he came face-to-face with Niall's door. He told himself to not even think, just act like Niall was a friend of his, they were just going out for a bite to eat. That this wasn't going to affect his future with the beautifulest boy on the planet. 

He had told himself a few hours ago that Niall wasn't the only boy in the world that he could love. But now that was just a soft echo at the back of his mind as he knocked on the door. And when Niall opened it and smiled at him looking more handsome then ever, that thought was wiped away from his mind completely. 

"You look very handsome in that shirt." Niall said, blushing and grabbing his coat from the closet inside his house. He then stepped out and closed his door, locking it. 

"You look very handsome in yours." Harry said back, stepping down the porch with Niall right beside them. They then walked to the junk van and got in. Harry was starting to regret picking Niall up because he had to drive in a very unromantic vehicle. But Niall seemed clueless to that thought, smiling away and looking out the window. 

They went into the parking lot of the restaurant, Harry got out and opened the door for the blond. Not expecting Niall to wrap his arm around his bicep, but didn't mind one bit as they walked to the entrance of the building and got themselves seated. 

 

"I haven't been on a date in ages, so I apologize if I'm rusty." Niall giggled out, taking a sip of his wine. 

"Me neither, so we're both on the same page." Harry chuckled with Niall, watching the blond fondly as he told a story of the last time he went on a date, and when he had to sneak out the back door to the restaurant when the guy asked if the blond wanted to come to his house for some fun after their meal. 

"I don't really do those kind of things, going all out without even really knowing the person. It takes away a lot from your personality when the first thing you do is have sex with the other person." Harry had to agree, surprised at how much the blond really fit with him. 

"I lost a lot of friends because I didn't go straight for the sex if I saw a girl or guy. They would always get so frustrated with me when I would go home after a party with no person to wake up next to." Niall nodded, a hand rested under his chin in amusement at the curly headed lad. 

"Good for you. But it seems you're doing okay with your life if you have friends like the two I saw at your gym." Niall said, looking down at his menu as he talked. But made sure to flicker his gaze up at Harry when he was done saying that. 

"Yeah, you look like you're doing well also. Perrie looks like a great friend." Niall blushed and nodded, taking another sip of his drink and setting it back down. Harry grabbed his own wine and did the same, never leaving his eyes from the blond. 

"She was with me through thick and thin. We rarely have fights, she's like the sister I never had." Niall explained and then he told Harry what he was thinking of getting, that conversation ending and a new one coming. It was a great thing, nothing was awkward, there was no pauses in their conversations that got them squirming in their seats uncomfortably. They just talked till their food came, and even then that didn't stop them.

"I don't usually eat stuff like pasta or steak cause I need to stay in shape for dance. But I couldn't help myself." Niall said, moaning at the taste that exploded in his mouth. Harry stiffened, but masked the sudden arousal with a cough.

"You're missing out then." Harry joked, making Niall chuckle. 

"I know, but there's no such thing as fat ballerina men." Niall said, picking at his food. Harry felt taken back by the blond's words. He made a mental note in his head about how the blond acted around food, how he was afraid to eat because he didn't want to get 'fat.' 

There was nothing wrong with that, curvy, chubby, or scrawny, Niall would look beautiful any way. But Niall seemed to beat himself up about that a lot, it concerned Harry.

"Enough talk about food, I want to know more about you. And you can ask me anything, I'll try to answer everything truthfully." Niall veered away from the touchy subject, and Harry didn't mind one bit. But as Niall asked him about his life, he couldn't help but lie a little more and more. He couldn't tell the blond about his past, not yet. He told Niall about his sister, how he loves working out. But then everything was being flawed by lies, he cringed in the inside whenever he said a lie. He hated it, but it was better for the blond to know almost nothing and be in love with him, then everything and walk away in disgust. 

Harry couldn't quite cope with the blond leaving yet. He couldn't really cope with anyone leaving after his mother died. 

"Alright, my turn. Ask me anything." Niall said, arms going out to his side, welcoming Harry to start.

He took a bite of his food, swallowed and then picked up his wine and quickly drinking the rest of it. Swallowing then wiping his mouth with the napkin beside his plate. Niall watched patiently. 

"Any brothers or sisters?" He asked.

"Just a brother." Niall said, he didn't go into any detail.

"You have an accent, I've forgotten to bring that up. But now seems like a good time. Irish?" 

"Born and raised in Mullingar, County Westmeath Ireland." 

"Why did you move to London, then?" Harry asked, leaning forward against the table. 

Niall hesitated, he moved his gaze to the table and then quickly back up at Harry. 

"Just wanted more adventure, Mullingar's a small town. Nothing really much to do." Niall said, giving Harry a shaky smile. 

It was a lie, Harry could tell. He knew how to look when he lied, how to act when he lied. And Niall was a horrible liar, everything screamed lie. But the blond seemed to think he was okay, because he leaned back in his chair, giving Harry a real smile now. 

"How long have you been dancing for? What kind of dance?" Harry didn't think too much about the lie, but it was eating away at the back of his brain. He tried not to look troubled. 

"Seven years and ballet" Niall said with no hesitation. 

"I would love to watch you some time." Harry mumbled, and blushed deeply, looking down and letting his hair flop over his face. He quickly flipped it back away from his eyes. 

"That would be nice, I would love to watch you bake me something." Niall said back, smiling fondly. 

Harry cursed in his brain, he hated this. How he lied, how he knew he had to lie. It really wasn't worth it, to hurt himself like this. Lying to your partner or to your date isn't going to get you a good future. He knew all that, but he did it anyway because he finally found some happiness in his heart that didn't have to be violence. 

"Yeah, I would like that." He said. 

 

Harry pulled up by the curb outside Niall's house. Both stuffed with food as they got out. Harry leaning on his van, heals on the curb, Niall standing in front of him on the sidewalk, hands in the pockets of his jacket. 

"Thank you for the wonderful night Harry." Niall said, moving just slightly more closer. Harry moved closer to, his feet now planted on the sidewalk. 

"I enjoyed it also, we need to do this again." Niall nodded in agreement, his eyes flickering from Harry's eyes to his chest. Then up again. It brought a chill down Harry's spine.

Niall moved closer then, Harry doing the same until they were toe-to-toe. Their breaths mingling together. 

"I never kiss on the first date." Niall mumbles, Harry could feel the blond's hot breath against his lips. His heart was beating a hundred miles an hour, he was worried Niall could hear it. 

"I don't either." He whispered, but couldn't help but look down at Niall's lips.

"So what do we do now that we're in this situation?" Niall asked, still inches from his lips, Harry's hands moving up to hover across the blonds hips. 

"Uhm, a kiss on the cheek? Maybe a hug too? Or just a hug if you're too uncomfortable with the kiss thing. Like, the kiss on the cheek thing, I'm not saying kiss on the lips when I say kiss, but the other kind of kiss, you know, on the cheek." Harry was just babbling, staring at Niall and making a fool of himself. But the blond had never stopped smiling. 

"I like both." Niall said, moving to kiss Harry's cheek and then bringing Harry into a hug. Harry closed his eyes, breathing in Niall's cologne and wanting to freeze the moment forever. But Niall had slowly pulled away, but he never stopped smiling. Harry had just realized now he was finally the one to make the blond smile like that. It wasn't just Perrie this time.

"I liked that." Harry mumbled, blushing wildly.

"We should do that again sometime, the hug, kiss and date." Niall said, and Harry laughed, nodding. 

"Have a good night, Niall." Harry said and Niall started walking away. He was about to also, but Niall was suddenly turning back and rushing towards Harry again, lips kissing the corner of his own. So close.

"Soon, hopefully it will be the lips." Niall whispered, blinking at Harry cutely before rushing back to his house. 

Harry just stared at the blond till Niall was opening the door. But he didn't go inside, just stood by the door, looking over his shoulder and still smiling at Harry.

"Have a good sleep Niall." Harry yelled out, and then that was it. Niall let out a small laugh before yelling back a 'you too!' Then he was closing the door and Harry was now alone in the street. Staring at the front door to Niall's house once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, I tried to make it long so I can make it up to everyone really enjoying this book. So please comment and tell me what you thought, or nag on me that this took too long... :)
> 
> Twitter: Niallerar  
> Tumblr: Niallerar  
> Wattpad: Direction_Minx


	4. Unlike You, I've Got Nothing Left To Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a faster update for all my readers because everyone seems to really like this story. Please comment and tell me what you thought, comments really get me motivated to update sooner!
> 
> Title from Song: Till Dawn (Here Comes The Sun) By The Weeknd
> 
> (Sorry for any errors in this, I'll edit this later.)

"How'd it go? I need all the details." Gemma blurted out when he walked into their flat. Harry chuckled, maneuvering past his giddy sister who was following him around the place until he finally wheeled around and grabbed her shoulders.

"Can I breath?" He asked, and Gemma chuckled, stepping back but still staying in his presence as he grabbed the jug of orange juice from the fridge, pouring some in a glass and then leaning himself against the counter. 

They just watched each other for a few minutes, Gemma's foot taping at the ground urgently until he finally gulped down the last drop and placed the glass into the sink. 

"Amazing." He sighed out, and Gemma squealed, actually squealed. She was jumping up and down, now rushing towards him with the biggest smile on her face. Her arms wrapped around him, squeezing him as hard as she could until she let go and stepped back, a smile still plastered on her face, eyes wide with adoration. 

"I'm so proud of you, you're finally finding the one." She sighed dreamingly, turning away from him and walking to the dining room table to sit herself down where she seemed to put her work place, papers and binders scattered around the oak table. 

Harry scratched at the back of his scalp, seeing the strain in his sisters eyes, the look of unsureness and disappointment that she tried to hide. He felt guilty, and felt like he was a four year old being silently scolded by his mother with a distasteful shadow that would hover of her eyes. He never liked when Gemma did this, shutting her thoughts out, but right now he had the deep feeling of thankfulness towards her. Because he knew if she would've said something, he would've gotten agitated. 

He swallowed thickly, letting out a sigh and moving towards his bedroom, knowing there was probably no way to really have a decent conversation with her at this state. And when he closed the door behind him, flopping himself on his bed, he couldn't help but let out a groan of anger and frustration. He was so happy, so, so happy that he finally found the most beautiful, kind, and perfect person for him. But then the lies were like a breath going down the back of his neck, there, haunting him until he would finally break. 

 

The three booming bangs that echoed throughout his bedroom like shots from a rifle woke him up, making him bolt upright and gasp. 

"Fuck, what?" He croaked out, rubbing the heel of his hands into his eyes. He blinked rapidly at the form walking towards him, and then focused on Gemma who had a glass of orange juice in her hands. 

"What time is it?" He groaned, answering his own question when he looked down at his clock, seeing the flashing red light of '6:30 AM' on it. It seemed he slept through his alarm that was originally set for 6. 

"Yeah, you're lucky I wasn't hungover this time. Don't want Liam barging in here wondering why you aren't up yet." She gave him the glass, watching as he downed it and then handed it back. "Thanks." He said with a more clearer voice then the one he had right after he woke up. 

"Get up now, Liam'll be here at 7. You know that." She waved her hand blindly at him as she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Harry smiled in amusement, getting up and getting dressed back into his basketball shorts and tank top. He was a little more out-of-sorts then usual, probably because the stress was eating away at him like roaches inside his body. He was something similar to a slug as he moped his way down the hallway, then grabbed his gym bag and slumped it over his shoulder, leaning against the wall and then waiting for Liam to knock. 

He could feel Gemma's presence, she was probably staring at him with her arms crossed over her chest, eyes still shadowed in disappointment, lips tugged down in a small frown. So he didn't bother looking at her, focusing on his running shoes until knocks at the door got him jolting off the wall and rushing to grab for the door. He swung it opened and gave Gemma a silent wave before closing it a millisecond after. Liam stood in front of him, one brow raised in confusion, but he walked anyway back towards the lobby to the car. 

Liam didn't talk to him though, only until they were in the car and driving a minute into the trip to the gym. "What happened? Everything go okay last night?" 

Harry didn't say anything for a second, just slowly blinking out the window, watching the beat-up houses and trees blur by. "Fine, just-just problems that I can't really explain right now." He mumbled, still not meeting Liam's gaze. He felt like a coward, he felt like the old Harry now. Like he was the little curly lad whimpering in the corner as he watched his big sister get beaten to a pulp once again, feeling like some worm that was vulnerable to be stepped on at any time. 

Harry cringed, squirming in his seat when he got the flash of memory that has haunted his life ever since. Physically he was strong, if you looked at him you would think he was strong, but mentally he was the thinnest piece of paper with so many holes already punctured into it. And sometimes it felt like just the simple pin drop could make him fall like dominos. 

"Okay." Liam said simply, and then that was it. And Harry was fine with that, it was better then pouring his heart out and risk crying in front of his mate. 

 

He stood at the two metal doors, jumping up and down, rolling his shoulders and holding his necklace between his teeth. He didn't say a word to anyone, and everyone seemed to want to talk to him, his name blurting out left and right. But he held his ground, he needed to stay focused for this, and he thought everyone knew that too. 

"He needs his space at the moment guys."Gemma mumbled from behind him, she seemed to be acting weird also. Not having the normal chats with the other three boys, or making jokes and helping Harry warm up and get his focus on. She just leaned against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. No interest in getting involved with anyone. Harry wanted to tell her to just go home if she wasn't going to support him, but he knew that was his bitter side speaking. 

Liam came into view suddenly, Zayn right beside him, they were both in their boxing gear also, having to do their fights right after him. He did fights a lot more then they did, them doing it more every-other Sunday, or whenever they had a good opponent. But Harry was like a machine, he never stopped, even when he was at his worst in mood like today, he never stopped. 

"Ready? Group huddle?" Liam asked, and they did so, Gemma hesitating before she walked over, slinging her arm over Louis' as they all made a circle, hands bowed into the middle, staring down at their shoes. 

"We're unstoppable. No one can touch us, yeah? Boxing kings!" Zayn yelled, Louis screaming out an "oi,oi!" before them breaking apart and slamming through the doors, the crowd roaring in excitement. 

"First fight we have tonight everyone. We have Harry Styles," the ref threw his hand up, pointing it towards Harry as he rushed onto the stage. The whole place was going wild, fists pumping into the air, girls screaming, guys hooting. It was the sound of heaven, and he couldn't help but smile in recognition. 

"Then, we have Stephen Harld!" The ref moved his other hand towards the other side of the stage, a man jumping on looking calmer then most of the guys Harry has dealt with, and didn't have a stupid name or attitude that got him worked up. It made Harry smile even wider, he even let out a little chuckle. He liked this guy, he looked like a challenge. 

The ref lifted his hand, the other placing his whistle into his mouth. Harry held his breath, chewing the mouth guard in his mouth. "Ready?" He asked, and then in a flash his hand whipped down. 

The crowd immediately roared, people standing up and screeching both their names. It was a tornado of sound, but all Harry focused on was the man in front of him. He watched his opponents steps, the way he swiftly moved side to side as he rushed towards him, and he generated that all into his brain in just a second before the man was throwing a fist out towards his temple. But he had already ducked. 

Right after he ducked, he was back up again, punching the opponent right in the mouth making his head fly back and his feet stumble backwards. It was again another chance for him to pummel two more punches, this time into his gut. When the man was folded-in in pain, Harry moved fully forward till he felt the mans head against his abs, and after that he was fully punching into the mans gut. One, two, one, two. 

The opponent let out loud sounds of pain, crumpling to his knees and hitting the ground. Harry stepped back immediately, but kept his fists up, ready for the mans next move. 

And he was good at boxing, the opponent, because it took five more rounds and many shots of pain throughout his body till Harry succeeded and won the match. 

"And the winner is...Harry Styles." The familiar feeling of pride washed through his body as once again his wrist was taken by the ref and lifted up into the air in triumph. 

After all three of their matches, the conclusion was that Liam and Zayn both won their games. But Zayn had the nastiest gashes all over his face and ribs when he came back into the change room. Overall they were all pretty beat up from tonights actions, but it was worth everything to let the stress leave their bodies. Especially for Harry. 

"This was a tough one tonight boys, but we beat all there asses anyways!" Louis cheered as he walked into the room behind Zayn. He couldn't stay still, jumping up and down lightly, his smile never faltering. But Gemma was the total opposite, and still seemed to camouflage into the walls, not wanting to be talked to. 

"And we have to go to the bar tonight, like I'm dragging every single one of you if you even try to decline my invitation." Louis slumps against one of the chairs in the room, breathless from the non-stop cheering he did all night, and from being the only one in the room talking every second. 

"It's not really an invitation if you're forcing us to go, mate." Harry mumbles from where he is putting on more deodorant and shrugging on his t-shirt. He decided to un-tape the tape from his knuckles by himself, realizing that Gemma wasn't going to be up for doing anything tonight. 

"Well then yes, if you want to put it harshly, I'm forcing you all to come. Now lets go." Louis chuckled out, pretending to pout as he got right back up and opened the door to the change room when everyone was dressed. 

Liam and Zayn followed Louis out, but Harry made sure to place a hand on his sisters shoulder as she tried to slip out without talking to him. Gemma whipped her head over her shoulder to look at him, seeming agitated. 

"You okay? We don't have to go, I mean I don't want to either." Harry sighed out, and Gemma's shoulders slumped, and now she was fully turned towards him. She looked drained, and Harry was really regretting following Louis' orders. 

"I'm fine, honestly I'm not even sure why I'm acting this way. Let's just, have fun. You deserve it." She clapped him on the shoulder and then both of them made their way out of the room, down the hallway, and out of the building to get to the bar. 

But as they drove to the bar, Harry's mood immediately changed back into what he felt before the match. Grumpy, depressed, and confused. He regretted talking Gemma into going to the bar, he regretted agreeing to go to the bar, regretted talking to Liam and Zayn about his problems and liking Niall, and most of all, he regrets even meeting the blond. Because now he's in this permanent spiral of love, and the only direction it's going, is down. 

 

"Okay, you have to tell me now, please!" Louis cried out when he got into the bar with Gemma. He flinched, huffing and settling himself down inside the booth beside Zayn who clapped him on the back and gave him a sympathetic smile. Liam must've told him about his mood-change. And now he's was in an even more worse bad mood, cause Louis was back to pushing him about his most sensitive subject. 

"Tell you what?" Harry asked, but it was more of an unemotional way to swerve around the topic that Louis obviously wanted to discuss. 

"You're such a twat you know that? You know exactly what I'm talking about. Now, what happened with your little boy toy? What's his name? Is he hot? Is he a good fuck or have you gone slo-"

Harry slammed his fist against the table, immediately bringing the hand he hit it against up to his face to rub at it harshly. Everyone froze and Louis-for the first time-looked generally scared, hands flying down to his lap, eyes widening and mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. 

Gemma's hand came down to curl against his wrist on the hand that was laid limp against the table, the other still hiding his face. He wanted to leave now, sure he won the fight and it was two fights in a row that he had gotten, but everything was too much now, everything in his body just wanted to shut down. And he could usually handle Louis' constant blabbing, but today the brunet sounded like a bullhorn in his ears. 

"I think we need to get home, sorry boys." Gemma's hand lightly tightened on his wrist and then tugged him out of the booth and out of the bar. She didn't talk to him for the whole walk to the junk van, then again for the whole drive home. But when they got settled in their apartment, Harry sitting on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows against his knees, she finally spoke, and she sounded angry. 

"What is wrong with you? I thought you were happy about Niall and all this dating stuff. You looked pretty happy when you got home for the date." She was pacing along the living room, but Harry didn't speak, he was afraid he would say something he'd regret. 

"I swear to god Harry you are not giving me the silent treatment right now. Don't bottle up your feelings, you know what happens to you when you do that." Gemma halted her pacing to glare down at him. Harry still didn't speak, he just chewed on his bottom lip, hands fidgeting around in front of him. 

"Hey!" Gemma yelled, and that's when he whipped his head up, curly hair flopping against his face. He wiped it away with a angry flick of his hand, glaring hot fire up at his sister. 

"Don't you see I don't want to talk to you? Can't you tell? I'm having a hard day and I just need to figure some things out-"

"No, I can't take that. Cause a hard day will turn into a hard week and I'm not dealing with you fucking yourself over again. You aren't leaving this room until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you Harry Styles!" Gemma yelled again, hands balling into fists at her sides. Harry chuckled. 

"Jesus, you sound like mom." He got up, starting to walk towards his room when Gemma grabbed at his forearm, but he whipped his arm away from her, stumbling back with a glare. 

"Don't play cocky with me. I asked you a damn question and you better answer it. I'm doing this for your well-being Harry, I'm doing this to help you." Gemma had her upper lip curled into a snarl, brows furrowed. 

"I am my own person Gemma! I'm not a kid anymore, let me live!" Harry knew they were slowly going into a dark past, but it was a tug in the air that was sending them there. It made his heart clench. 

"Let you live? So what do you want me to do? Watch you rush into your room and then simply see you the next morning and wake you up? You need me Harry, you just don't want to admit it cause you're being a dick right now!" Gemma roared, and that was the end for Harry. He felt like he reached the boiling point and there was nothing left to spill over.

"Fuck you." He growled, rushing off into his room, then grabbing at his things and shoving them into his gym bag. Gemma was screaming at him, telling him to get his ass back into the living room. But he didn't listen, of course he didn't. Gemma said he was being a dick, but she was being a bitch right back. 

He rushed right back out, ignoring her yells as he quickly slipped on his shoes. 

"I'm calling Liam, Zayn, and Louis, telling them they better not fucking let you into their houses. You either go cool of some steam or get your ass back home." She slammed the door to the apartment right after her little speech as he rushed down the hallway to the stairs. He cursed under his breath, knowing she was going to do that, and even though they were his three best friends, they'd definitely listen to her. 

He couldn't go to the gym to burn off some steam, he couldn't go to his friends houses. And now he could only think of one person, and he dreaded it. Niall Horan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember to comment :)
> 
> My Wattpad for more Fics: Direction_Minx  
> Tumblr: Niallerar  
> Twitter: Niallerar


	5. We'll Learn To Love How To Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried giving you all a good long chapter for this one, and I worked really hard to make sure you are all happy with this, so I hope you all enjoy! Feedback would be absolutely amazing for me! :)
> 
> Title From Song: Love In The Sky By The Weeknd

His eyes were drooping closed by the time he had gotten to Niall's house. He was trying to think of any other way to stay somewhere for the night. He was almost thinking of going to the homeless shelter for a night, but god how dumb would that be? How much of a coward would he have to be to go that extreme? And Gemma would have his head if she found out about that choice. 

So, he now is standing at the pretty blonds porch, a bag slung over his shoulder and his body slightly shivering from the cool midnight breeze. Hair messy and mangled on top of his head, draped down almost past his shoulders. 

He took in a deep breath, letting it out and watching the cloud of his breath appear in front of him as he exhaled. He counted to three, closing his eyes, pretending this was the ring and he was getting ready for a big fight, preparing himself for anything. 

His fist hit the door, three short knocks and then he stepped away. 

He bit the inside of his cheek in worry, playing with the strap of his bag, he regretted this now, he hated this. Why did he have to be so stupid and low towards his sister? Why can't he just forgive and forget? He's a coward, he's pathetic. 

The door opens before he can back down, and now the pretty blond is staring at him, blinking up at him with sleepy, puffy eyes. 

"H-Harry? What?" Niall rubbed at his eyes, then laced his fingers through his bed head. The blond was only wearing a large shirt that fell across his shoulder, then boxers that were too baggy for his skinny legs. 

"Uhm, sorry fuck I really shouldn't have done this but, uh." Harry was at a loss of words. Part of it was because of the immense beauty he had the pleasure of looking at in front of him, and the other part being because he was completely embarrassed he was standing at the front door of his crushes house at 12 o'clock at night looking for a place to stay. 

"Are you okay?" Niall looked to be more awake now, he was still blinking rapidly, trying to adjust to the lighting coming in front the street lights outside. But he was still full focus on the curly lad, a concerning look in his eyes. 

"Honestly? No. I uh, got into a fight with my sister and don't really have a place to stay. Shit this is so embarrassing." Harry was rambling on and on, and Niall was now smiling in amusement. 

"Harry? Would you like to come in and sleep?" Niall moved away from the door, motioning for the curly lad to just simply walk in. But Harry was still standing as useless as a rock on the porch, eyes wide in surprise at the blonds actions. 

Niall shouldn't be this welcoming, he could be a murderer, a rapist that is disguising himself to be nice and hot and really a dick. 

But he wasn't. He had to say to himself in his head, he wasn't a murderer or a rapist. He was once again over his head in fear of things that didn't exist. 

"Are you sure? Niall I don't want to intrude." He walked in anyways, but stayed blocking Niall from closing the door, looking the blond harshly in the eyes to try and find any sign of regret and unsureness. 

"Harry please, you were kind enough to let me stay the night at your house when I was in need. Now I can return the favour." And what the blond said made Harry fully walk into the house. It was true, although he wanted to fight that the blond didn't have to expect to return any favours. But he let it slide. 

"Where would you like me?" Harry sighed out, loving the new warmth that flooded his cold body. 

Niall shrugged, waving his hand out to point at his ratty old looking couch settled in the living room. It was a pretty bare couch to Harry's eyes as the curly lad moved to the room he was going to be sleeping in. There was nothing like books, magazines, or even little decorations like plants or paintings up in the home, it was so plain. 

"My house isn't much, I know. But I don't really have the time or the energy to get up and around finding stuff to make my place look aesthetically pleasing, ha." Niall blushed, looking down at his socked feet as Harry settled himself down on the couch, surprising at the heavy dip in it, his butt felt like it almost was touching the floor. 

"And yeah, I haven't even gotten out to get a new couch and stuff." Niall was scratching at the back of his head, and Harry was quick to reassure the blond. 

"That's fine, I completely understand. It's not like I'm living here, it's just one night and I'll be out of your hair, no need to worry." Harry gave Niall a small smile, and the blond smiled back at his soft voice.

Niall rubbed at his arms, letting out a long sigh and shifting on his feet. There was a silence that came over them, and Harry just pretended he was too interested in looking around the house. Which, he kind of was. There wasn't even a television, the only thing that looked remotely like the blond actually occupied the place was a iPhone speaker dock. 

"Well, uh, I'm gonna get back to sleep, have another practice for a dance I'm doing tomorrow. Goodnight Harry, call me or wake me up if you need anything." And Niall gave Harry an awkward smile and short wave before shuffling up the stairs. 

Harry almost wanted to face-palm himself, how stupid he was for not at least carrying on a decent conversation with the blond. He had intruded Niall's privacy and precious sleep, and now all he could really do is sit like some vegetable on the poor blond's couch? 

How many times does he have to call himself pathetic?

 

He couldn't sleep. It was the constant echo of Gemma's nagging voice that haunted his mind whenever he closed his eyes. He hated that, how he felt guilt eating away at him, how he knew he had a wrong in the situation, but not the full wrong. Him and his sister were good siblings to each other, they had to be after their parents, but sometimes things slipped and things would get said that honestly broke the two apart. And this was one of those times. 

And the worst part was, was there wasn't any tv to keep him occupied, and he could barely move a muscle without worrying the couch would creak too much and have the blond awake again and maybe even kick him out. Then his only choice would really have to be the homeless shelter. 

So, his last resort to his boredom was staring up at the ceiling, blinking up at it trying to sort out his jumbled up feelings. There was a clock ticking somewhere, and it was like a rhythm as he tapped his foot against the other end of the couch on the arm rest. He was a little bit too big for the couch, if he didn't mention that before. It was Niall-size, not Harry-size. 

A few minutes went by, and he hadn't even gotten one second of sleep before he heard the sound of feet padding against the stairs, then against the wooden flooring, and then they were coming near the living room. And his first thought was 'oh shit, you dumbass, you fucking woke him up and now you'll be sleeping on the damn streets for the night!' And he had whipped his head up from the couch, squinting through the dark and almost screeching in surprise when light illuminated the hallway by the living room. 

And there, stood Niall, who looked very troubled and frustrated. 

"Fuck, I'm so sorry Niall. I'll just, go." He was getting up, but Niall's brows furrowed and the blond stepped forward shaking his head. 

"No, no, no Harry no. I just, I couldn't sleep like I really couldn't and it's been happening for a while now. And I couldn't help myself knowing there was someone downstairs who could keep me company for one night." Niall said that all in one breath, not looking Harry in the eye. And the curly lad had to just blink at the blond before he silently nodded, shuffling up along the couch so there was room for Niall to sit beside him. 

And Niall did so, the blond slowly moving into the room and sitting himself down. Harry noticed the fresh sleepless rings under his eyes, how they showed vibrantly against the blonds pale skin. 

"What's wrong? If I-uh, may ask." Only half of Niall's face was illuminated from the hallway light, and Harry was sure Niall could only a shadow of himself. 

"Just...parents and dance. All of it's pretty stressful. And living alone, it's kinda boring." Niall was scratching at the back of his neck, biting his lip. He looked nervous and worried about what Harry would think, but really Harry had the same problems. Not really parents problems anymore, because well, they were long gone by now. But stress on his job and on really life itself, yeah, he could relate. 

"You look like you dance a lot, like too much." Harry worked carefully with his words as he spoke to the blond boy beside him, he decided to not talk about Niall's parents yet, knowing it was probably a sensitive topic that he definitely didn't want to hit the wrong nerve in. 

And Niall looked to think about that question, the blond chewed on his lip and looked down at the floor. "Y-yeah I do a lot of dance, and you're right about that, a little too much. But it gives me so much release from a lot of stress and pain but I don't know...sometimes it's the reason for my stress and pain, ya know?" 

It was weird for Harry, how true that sentence sounded. Boxing was the same for him, it relieved the pain he felt from his past, also soothed the stress that was washing over him every day of being alone in the world with no parent to guide him or love him like normal families do. But it also was the reason he had stress, because of the bruises on his skin inflicted onto him almost daily, and obviously there was the physical and mental pain weighed onto him. He was a mess, but Niall apparently was, too. 

"Yeah, I-I get that." He sighed out, nodding stiffly as he watched Niall's fingers play with a loose stitch on his pyjama shirt. 

"So, you bake for a living then? How long have you been doing that?" They locked gazes for the second that Niall had asked that question, and then Harry was forcing himself to look down at the floor and punish himself in his mind. He was screaming at himself to just tell the blond, just tell Niall that he was a boxer and that he hurt people for a living, but his lips weren't moving and words weren't forming properly and he said the first thing he thought of. 

"Almost the same amount of time that you've been doing ballet, seven years didn't you say?" Niall looked impressed, smiling and chuckling. 

"Yeah, I'm surprised you remembered, you're a good listener." It was good to distract the blond, but it was still eating away at him seeing how he was dragging all this out, all these lies. He knew this wouldn't end well, but he wasn't the kind of person that was strong enough to face the truth. He was a man who could easily fight people in the boxing ring, but when the truth hit him, he was like a dead weight.

"Yeah, haven't stopped for a long time, I like baking, it calms me."

Niall's brows were still raised up into his forehead, listening to Harry speak like he was hanging off every word. Harry had thought that maybe Niall didn't believe him, that the blond was seeing through him like some transparent glass and knew what was on the other side. But then Niall let out a chuckle and a blush started to flourish across his chubby cheeks. 

"So you don't get those biceps from just boxing then, huh?" Harry blushed also, letting out a laugh that more sounded like he choked on his own spit at Niall's words. It was a compliment he got a lot from many girls that came to the ring every time he would play, but this was different, this was Niall. 

"Uh, I'm sorry about that it was just an-uh-an observation. Just cause I saw you boxing and you looked really good-shit-and well I know you probably have to lift things at work and do some other pastry stuff...fuck I'm so sorry you probably think I'm an absolute creep." Niall looked like he was on the edge of some kind of panic attack, and Harry had somehow shuffled closer to the blond in comfort. 

"No, no, no. I mean I wouldn't have tried going on a date with you and come to your house if I didn't like you...so, I mean I do like you and that was a good thing to say to me." 

After Harry's attempt to comfort Niall, the atmosphere had gotten ten times more awkward, and they both sat in silence in the dark of Niall's home, side by side with their knees brushing together from how close they were sitting. 

"It's nice to know that I'm not the only one bad at wording things." Niall's voice was small and barely above a whisper, but in the dead of night with no television or anything electrical in the whole damned house that could give them any source of a getaway out of the awkward tension, Harry could still hear him loud and clear. 

"I'm not usually this bad, promise." Harry chuckled out, scratched at his scalp and whipping the loose strands of his curly locks back away from his eyes, the usual thing he did when he was stressed or nervous. 

"I'm not that bad either, but something about you has got me completely backwards in personality. It's a weird attraction, but I like that." And it more sounded like Niall was talking to himself with the way the blond was staring at nothing in front of him, eyes squinted and brows furrowed in concentration. But Harry was glad he wasn't looking at him, or else Niall would be seeing the big flustered look on his face and shine of excitement in his eyes. 

 

They had talked all night, and they didn't expect that at all. That small awkward beginning felt like it never happened when Harry had started asking Niall more about his dancing, and Niall about how he got into boxing as a, well, hobby as Harry lied. 

But Niall had ended up getting them drinks and giggling when he had tripped on the coffee table and had fallen right on top of Harry, spilling them all over Harry's shirt and pants. But then they had gotten back to the kitchen together, holding hands as they both maneuvered each other throughout the darkness. 

Everything seemed to be okay, when it was pitch dark and they couldn't really see anything. Like they could do anything and not have to see if the other persons face didn't like it or wasn't sure, the two never even thought once about turning on the lights to the house. It was an adventure and had sent them into constant giggle fits whenever one would trip over something. 

But of course, the next morning wasn't their favourite thing, Harry had woken up to a dead weight on his chest making him cringe and try to move, but when the weight started to shift too far off the edge, he had grabbed onto it, and felt the creamy hips under his touch making him look down and see a tuft of blond hair. 

They were both fully clothed, of course, they didn't have that much fun last night. But laughing till their bellies hurt had given them total exhaustion, and it looked like they both didn't care where they ended up in the morning. 

Harry though, he was starting to worry about the time. He knew he needed to go to the gym to do some practise, meet up with Liam and Zayn. But he was so comfortable and so relaxed that he didn't ever want to move again. He wanted to stay where he was till his hair would turn grey and wrinkles would form on his face. But when he had made himself reach over towards the coffee table and grab his phone, he had sighed and rolled his eyes, of course he couldn't do what he wanted. 

Liam and Zayn were probably wondering where he was, they had probably went to his house with Louis and asked if he had returned from last nights problems, and Gemma would've said no. So now they were expecting him to be at the gym, and he was already half an hour late. 

But he realized that Niall might need to get going also, with all his dance and stuff that he needed to do, so he slowly moved a hand down to rub at the blonds back, soft and welcoming and he was careful not to scare Niall when he did so. 

"Niall? I have to get going. Niall, sorry babe-uh, sorry." Did he just really call the blond babe? He really wasn't smooth with his words, and he was surprised that Niall didn't think he was a creep for being so forward with things. 

"Hmm?" It looked like Niall didn't really hear him, though. The blond was rubbing his cheek along his now dried shirt, all squished and cute against him, and Niall had even wrinkled his nose and let out a yawn, trying to curl himself more into Harry making the curly lad groan. He hated how much he loved this, how much he didn't want this to end. 

"It's time to get up, I've got some stuff to do, but I promise I'm free for cuddles later." He tried to act smooth with his words finally, and it seemed to work finally when he saw one pretty blue eye open, Niall looked straight ahead for a good ten seconds before opening his other eye and slowly trying to sit up, moving a pale hand out and onto Harry's chest to push himself up. 

"Shit, what time it is?" Niall was sat up on the couch now, running a hand through his bed-head hair and blinking his eyes to try and adjust to the new light that wad flowing into the home. 

"It's 9:30. I have to go do some things with friends, I'm kinda late already-" But Harry couldn't finish his sentence before Niall was gasping and flinging himself off the couch, rushing up the stairs with no other words said making Harry just stare in shock. 

He was sure now, that Niall probably had to go to some dance rehearsal or whatever you call it. And he huffed, getting up himself and slowly getting his things together. He was still so tired, it feeling like he hadn't slept for three days straight as he drug his feet across the ground as he walked towards the front door. 

When he got to the door, he stopped and turned back around to stare upstairs. Should he wait for Niall? Or just leave? He felt rude if he would've just left without saying some kind of goodbye, so he had leaned against the wall with his phone out, texting Zayn that he was coming and he'd explain why he was late later. Once he had sent it, Niall was rushing back down the stairs, a big dance bag in his hands looking like he could barely hold it up. 

"It's okay, I'm late too, just, do you need anything? I could ask my mates to give you a ride, my gym is right by here." Harry felt bad for Niall who was out of breath as he tried slipping on his shoes, multi-tasking by holding the bag on his shoulders that just kept on falling off them and getting in the way. 

"No, no Harry don't that's fine. Honestly I can just explain I had a rough night sleeping..."

Harry had pushed himself off the wall and grabbed onto Niall's bag, taking it off the blonds shoulders making Niall look up at him in confusion. 

"You have way more important things to get to then me, I'm just going to the gym with some mates. You need a ride, come on." He opened the door with his bag and Niall's in his arms, walking out of the blonds house and waiting for Niall to hesitantly follow him. 

Niall still didn't look so sure, even when they spent two minutes walking to the gym and had gotten to the front doors of it, the blond was picking at his nails nervously, trying to tell Harry that he could just walk. 

Harry just opened the doors to the gym and walked in, letting Niall follow until he saw Liam and Zayn practising boxing on each other. They had both stopped when they heard the door slam behind Harry and Niall, and looked up with raised brows at the two. 

"I need your keys, Li." Harry didn't waste any time, had settled his and Niall's bags down for a second as he walked over to Liam's gym bag that was beside Louis who was sitting on the ground on his phone, now looking up at him also. 

"Uh, okay, why?" Liam was walking over, but Harry was already rushing back to Niall's bag and hoisting it back up onto his shoulders, leaving his bag there. 

"I'll tell yeah later, I'll be back in like ten minutes." Niall was trying to speak, obviously not understanding if Liam was actually letting them use his car, or if Harry was just going to use it no matter what his mate said, but Harry knew Liam could never say no to him. 

"You better. And I better see no scratches on it curly!" Liam's voice was muffled halfway through his sentence, because Harry was already tugging Niall out the door and letting it close behind them. 

 

"Where do you do your dance?" Harry asked as soon as they settled themselves in the car.

"Just around the corner, the sign to my studio just says "Dance Aethletic Studios"" Niall explained as he put on his seatbelt. Then Harry was turning on the car and driving to the blonds studio.

He did make a mental note, remembering where the blonds dance studio was so he could just maybe pop in once and a while. Or, was that too creepy again?

When they got to the studio, Harry had still insisted on taking Niall's bag in for him, and Niall seemed to be done trying to get Harry to let him do something, so he just smiled and walked up to the front doors, opening them for Harry.

But once they had gotten in, a blond girl who Harry remembed being named Perrie had immediately locked eyes with both of them and rushed over, her only wearing a tight one-piece leggings.

"Niall? God where had you been? You missed have the practise..." She had trailed off though, when she moved her gaze back and forth from Niall to Harry.

"Oh right, you were the lovely lad that took care of Niall that night. Gosh, Ni babe he's a keeper." Perrie gave Niall a nudge, and the blond blushed deeply and shoved her lightly back.

"Not in front of him, Pez." He mumbled. It amused Harry, he liked the relationship Niall had with this Perrie girl, and really, now that he really looked between the two of them, they could very well be considered twins.

"Oh stop it, someone had to say it to ya! You two are too cute for someone to not say the truth." Niall had grabbed at Harry's arm then, moving him back and away from Perrie making her smirk playfully and then move back with the rest of the group again.

Harry focused his gaze back down at Niall again, seeing the blond still looking embaressed.

"Thank you again, Harry. I actually really needed that ride so, thanks for being stubborn with me."

"No problem, if you need a ride anytime, I've actually got my own car if you remember, so I can drive you." Niall chuckled at Harry's words and nodded.

"Of course." And then he had leaned up and kissed Harry on the cheek, just a soft peck where his lips barely brushed his skin, but it still made Harry feel like his cheeks went five shades darker.

He watched Niall scamper off towards the large group of girls, and then he took his time finding his way out, watching Niall stretch and get ready to do whatever dance he was practising for.

And maybe some time, at some point, he could watch Niall perform.

 

"Alright, now forget the boxing, that can come later. Sit down and spill the beans." Louis had spoken up as soon as he entered the gym once again, and he wasn't surprised that the boys bombarded him.

"Starting from...?" Harry tried to act like he wasn't excited to tell the boys all about him and Niall, settling himself down on one of the chairs.

"Starting from yours and Gemma's fight." Of course Liam had to bring that up, the man was standing in front of him with Louis and Zayn in some kind of half-circle.

Now that was one of the things Harry wasn't so excited to talk about, and he sighed before speaking.

"Uh, well we got into some fight cause I was butt-hurt over something. I had packed my bags and tried getting out to go to one of you guys houses but she said she'd call all of you to make sure I didn't get to go." He didn't meet any of their gazes, too ashamed of himself. 

"Yeah mate, she did call all of us. She sounded pretty pissed on the phone even, said you'd explain what happened. But it looks like you aren't doing much explaining." Zayn was giving him a skeptical look, and Harry was withering under his stare. He hated everything that had to do with this dating stuff, because now that he built that relationship around a lie, he had to force his lies out onto the friends and family that actually knew the truth. 

"It's just-I'm not too sure about this thing Niall and I have. It's not bad between us two, it's actually, like, the opposite. I am completely in love with him, but I just, I kinda...uhm, still haven't told him that I'm a boxer. " The three seemed surprised at that, Liam and Zayn's faces looked so authoritative looking, similar to Gemma's. 

"Wait a second, so you still haven't told him that you're a boxer...god Harry." Liam had turned away, biting at his lip in anger and it was starting to get Harry all rilled up again. He knew damn well he was wrong in all this, they didn't need to rub salt in the wound. 

"I know, I know. I'm stupid. But I love him too much, like he's so perfect and beautiful and pure. I-I want him in my life, beside me." He sighed out, and their faces all seemed to soften at his words. 

"Mate, you're lucky I haven't gone on a real date with Perrie yet, cause I wasn't planning on hiding my whole life career from her, and I was probably going to talk about you in all that. Your cover would've been blown." Zayn's voice sounded more calmer then before, he understood Harry very well, knew the curly lads boundaries and things he didn't like and when he got angry. Unlike Louis and Liam who seemed to flip out whenever they wanted to, more Louis then Liam. 

"Just, give me time okay? I'm trying really hard and Niall is hiding some things from me too, like I can tell whenever I ask him about his family or his personal life. I think we both have some things we need to tell when we finally warm up to each other." He tried sounding determined with his words, looking at all three of them one by one. 

"Yeah alright, but uh, what happens if Niall doesn't like you being a boxer? What will you do then?" 

And that made Harry pause, him just having to stare at the ground for a good minute. He couldn't think of an answer to that, he didn't think of the things he dreaded the most, and that was definitely one of the things. 

"I-I honestly don't know yet." And that was the first solid truth he had spoken all day. 

 

He knew the next person to face was Gemma. And as he sat in Liam's car he was trying to figure his wording to all the things he knew him and her were going to talk about. But before he knew it, Liam's car had pulled up in front of the building, and he had to get out. 

"Call me if anything happens again, but try and talk nice yeah? I don't like it when you two fight." Liam sighed out, and Harry just tapped the top of Liam's car in a goodbye and then walked off and into the apartment building, hearing Liam's car roaring back to life and driving down the street. 

He tried thinking of what to say when he took the stairs instead of the elevator, dragging out the time as much as he could. But no matter what, he still found himself in front of their apartment door, and slowly he built his courage up enough to knock. 

There was a pause, then footsteps, and then the door was creaking opened, Gemma standing at the door looking just as uncertain as he did. She gave him a stiff smile, opening the door fully and letting him walk in and then closing the door behind him, not once did they meet eyes. 

And they didn't talk either, Harry had just stared at the wall in front of him, looking at the photo framed up on the wall of him and Gemma when he was five years old. He had taken a lot of time in to come up with words, but now that he was in front of her, he couldn't remember what he had planned to say. 

"I really should've let you cool off sooner, that argument went out of hand." Gemma spoke first, and she moved into his view so she was all he could see. 

"It was more my fault than yours, honestly. I just-a lot is going through my mind right now and everything was pissing me off last night. Saying fuck you to you was really cruel and I want you to know that I still, uh, I still love you Gems." She looked like she was gonna tear up, and Harry couldn't help but smile seeing that, moving forward and tugging her into a hug making her bury her face into his neck. 

They stayed like that for a good four minutes before Gemma was softly pulling back and looking at him with slightly puffy eyes. "I just hate seeing you like that, all stressed. You've got a lot on your mind all the time, a lot of weight on your shoulders, and I wanna help all I can, cause I'm your big sister." She sighed out, stepping back to rub at her eyes.

"I know and I'm gonna spill everything to you right now, just, prepare yourself yeah?" He took in a deep breath and then took Gemma by the hand and moved her to the living room. She didn't look confused, more curious. He was sure she had a good idea why he was acting up now. 

"I still haven't told Niall about me being a boxer, and I know that's a bad choice but I don't think he likes violence. It's a lot of stress on me making sure he doesn't find out, and then also a lot of stress in finding the perfect time to tell him." He said that all in one breath, and Gemma had just blinked at him for a few seconds before sighing deeply.

"I'm not going to tell you off, because I know you got an earful around from the other guys. Just, please find a time soon? Hiding all this will just make everything worse for you, and if Niall doesn't except you..." She trailed off, and Harry was glad she did, because he knew what she was already going to say, he had heard that before already. 

"I promise, I will." He said that with a strong voice, he couldn't wait this all out any longer, the consequences may be gruesome, but maybe Niall just wasn't the guy for him, no matter how much that hurts saying that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me what you thought, I hope the wait was worth it, once again. (Sorry for any spelling errors, I tried my best to edit.)
> 
> Wattpad for more stories: Direction_Minx  
> Tumblr: niallerar  
> 


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